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Yacht Jokes: Hilarious Puns and One-Liners for Boat Lovers

Celestino-Miller

  • March 10, 2024

Are you ready to set sail on a sea of laughter? Get ready to chuckle your way through this collection of hilarious yacht jokes. Whether you’re an experienced sailor or just enjoy a good pun, these jokes are sure to float your boat. So grab your captain’s hat and get ready to embark on a journey of endless laughter.

From clever quips about sailors to puns about the high seas, these yacht jokes are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone. Set against the backdrop of the open waters, these jokes will have you rolling with laughter in no time. So sit back, relax, and let the waves of humor wash over you as you dive into this nautical-themed joke collection.

funny yacht jokes

Best Yacht Jokes

Here’s five jokes about Yacht:

1. Why did the yacht go to school? Because it wanted to be a little “buoy” genius! 2. What did the ocean say to the yacht? Nothing, it just waved. 3. What do you call a yacht that sings? A ferry-tale. 4. Why did the wealthy man bring a ladder on his yacht? He heard it was a step up from the rest. 5. What do you call a group of musical yachts? A yacht-phony.

Family Friendly Yacht Jokes

Here’s some family friendly funny jokes about Yacht:

1. Why did the yacht break up with the sailboat? It couldn’t handle the commitment. 2. What do you call a pirate’s favorite letter on a yacht? The “C”! 3. How do yacht owners communicate? They just wave! 4. Why did the sailor bring string to the yacht party? In case they needed to tie the knot! 5. What do you do with a sick boat? Take it to the doc! 6. Why did the yacht go to therapy? It had too many knots to untangle. 7. How do yachts greet each other? They just say, “Seas the day!” 8. What happened when the yacht captain lost control? Things went overboard! 9. What do you call a nervous yacht? A little “buoyant”! 10. Why did the yacht feel embarrassed? It forgot its sunscreen and got a red hull. 11. Why did the yacht blush? It saw the ocean’s bottom and got a little hullish! 12. What do you call a yacht with a sense of humor? A pun-t00n! 13. Why did the yacht get in trouble? It couldn’t steer clear of trouble waters. 14. Are yachts ever late for parties? No, they always make a splash! 15. What’s a yacht’s favorite kind of music? Rock and Buoy! 16. How do yacht captains stay in shape? They do a lot of rowing with oars! 17. Why are yachts so good at playing cards? They always have a full deck! 18. Did you hear about the sailor who found the fountain of youth? He traded it for a faster yacht! 19. What do you call a sad yacht? A little buoyn’t! 20. Why was the yacht embarrassed to wear a mask? It didn’t want to cover its beautiful bow.

Yacht Jokes One-liners – Short Jokes

1. What did the pirate say when he bought a yacht? “Shiver me timbers!” 2. Why do pirates make terrible sailors? Because they always make waves on the yacht. 3. How do yacht owners communicate? Through yacht mail. 4. Why was the yacht always tired? It had too much to stern. 5. What do you call a group of sailors on a luxury yacht? A captain’s crew. 6. Why couldn’t the yacht find a date? It had too many anchors. 7. What do you get when you cross a cat with a luxury yacht? The purr-fect vessel. 8. Where do yachts like to party? On the high seas dance floor. 9. Why did the yacht start a band? It wanted to rock the boat. 10. What’s a sailor’s favorite part of the yacht? The bow-tie. 11. How do you know when a yacht is lying? Its sails are full of hot air. 12. Why was the yacht always in trouble at school? It kept getting caught in the detentions. 13. What did the ocean say to the yacht? Nothing, it just waved. 14. What do you call a yacht that’s afraid of the water? A land yacht. 15. Why did the sailor bring a ladder onto the yacht? He heard it was a step up from the competition. 16. How does a yacht greet another yacht? “Hull-o there!” 17. Why did the yacht become a detective? It wanted to solve the case of the missing anchor. 18. What do you call a line of yachts waiting to dock? A yacht queue. 19. What did the yacht captain say to the crew? “Let’s sail away and sea where the wind takes us.” 20. How does a yacht keep in touch with its friends? It sends them wave messages.

Yacht Dad Jokes

1. Why did the yacht break up with the sailboat? It just couldn’t handle the commitment to one marina.

2. What do you call a group of musical yachts? A yachtchestra.

3. How do yachts communicate during a race? They use signal buoys.

4. Why did the yacht bring a ladder to the party? It heard things were going to get a little yachtsee.

5. What do you call a yacht that likes to show off? A boast-yacht.

6. Why don’t yachts like to play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re always making waves.

7. How do yachts apologize to each other? They make amends at the yachtchapel.

8. Why did the yacht go to therapy? It had deep-sea issues to work through.

9. What did the dad yacht say to its kid yacht? “You’re really starting to sail into your own now.”

10. Why was the yacht so good at math? It had a lot of experience with yachts and zeroes.

11. What do you get when you cross a yacht with a rainbow? A boat of many colors.

12. Why did the yacht get a job as a comedian? It had a knack for making waves of laughter.

13. Why was the yacht so good at dancing? It had a natural buoyancy on the dance floor.

14. What do you call a yacht that can do magic tricks? A presti-digitation.

15. Why did the yacht start singing karaoke? It wanted to show off its sea-rious vocal skills.

16. How do yachts greet each other in the morning? With a hearty “buoy, oh buoy!”

17. Why did the yacht go to the gym? It wanted to stay shipshape and paddle fashion.

18. What did the ocean say to the yacht? “You’re my favorite vessel.”

19. Why did the yacht get invited to all the parties? Because it always knew how to make a splash.

20. What’s a yacht’s favorite TV show? “The Love Boat,” of course!

Yacht Surreal Jokes

1. Why did the yacht join a band? Because it wanted to set sail on a musical journey! 2. What do you call a group of overly confident yachts? Ego-sailors! 3. How does a yacht make phone calls? By using its cell buoy! 4. What did the ocean say to the yacht? Nothing, it just waved! 5. Why did the yacht go to therapy? It had deep-sea issues! 6. How does a yacht keep its crew entertained? By throwing a yacht party, of course! 7. What do you call a yacht that loves to dance? A disco-vessel! 8. Why did the yacht break up with the submarine? It couldn’t handle the pressure! 9. What do you get when you cross a yacht with a dictionary? A thesailus! 10. How did the yacht become a comedian? It had a knack for yacht puns! 11. Why did the yacht refuse to go to the gym? It didn’t want to work on its hull-th! 12. What’s a yacht’s favorite movie genre? Sail-ent films! 13. How does a yacht navigate through rough waters? With impeccable yachtmanship! 14. Why did the yacht bring a pencil to the party? In case it needed to draw anchor! 15. What do you call a gossiping yacht? A sail-spiller! 16. How does a yacht apologize to another yacht? By sending a message in a bottle! 17. Why did the yacht enroll in cooking classes? To learn how to make great ship-dips! 18. What did the yacht say to the seagull? “Don’t seagull and sail!” 19. Why did the yacht become a detective? It had a keen eye for clues! 20. How did the yacht get a job in a bakery? It had a lot of dough!

Yacht Dark Humor Jokes

Here’s some funny Yacht jokes for adults:

1. Why did the yacht break up with the submarine? They had too many deep-sea issues. 2. What do you call a yacht that refuses to apologize? A sailfisher. 3. Why did the sailor bring a pencil to the yacht party? In case he needed to draw blood in the water. 4. How does a yacht greet another yacht? “Hull-oh there!” 5. Why did the yacht go to therapy? It had trouble staying afloat emotionally. 6. What do you call a group of overly confident yachts? The arrogant navy. 7. Why couldn’t the yacht find love? It was too caught up in a toxic relationship with the ocean. 8. What did the yacht say to the luxurious cruise ship? “You float my boat, darling.” 9. Why did the yacht join a book club? It wanted to expand its horizons. 10. How does a yacht apologize to its crew? It sends a message in a bottle of expensive champagne. 11. Why did the yacht get pulled over by the coast guard? It was caught in a tide of illegal activities. 12. What do you call a yacht that likes to cause drama? A scandal-boat. 13. Why was the yacht always the life of the party? It knew how to sail through any social situation. 14. How does a yacht deal with a broken heart? It sets sail for new horizons and fresh fish. 15. Why did the yacht refuse to update its navigation system? It was in denial about its mid-life crisis. 16. What do you call a yacht that’s great at math? A geometric cruiser. 17. Why did the yacht cross the ocean? To get to the other tide. 18. How does a yacht show affection? By giving lots of hull hugs. 19. Why did the yacht break up with the lighthouse? It felt like it was always being held back. 20. What do you call a yacht that’s always telling jokes? A pun-ting vessel.

How to Use Yacht Jokes In a Conversation?

When it comes to breaking the ice and lightening the mood in a conversation, using yacht jokes can be an excellent choice. Yacht jokes are funny, lighthearted, and perfect for casual conversations or social gatherings. Here are some tips on how to effectively use yacht jokes in a conversation:

Know your audience

Before cracking a yacht joke, take a moment to gauge the atmosphere and the people you are talking to. Make sure your audience is open to humor and jest. Additionally, consider their sense of humor and tailor your joke accordingly.

Use yacht jokes as icebreakers

Yacht jokes can be a great way to break the ice in a conversation. They are light-hearted and can help ease any tension or awkwardness in a group setting. Starting off with a witty yacht joke can set a fun and relaxed tone for the rest of the conversation.

Timing is key

Like all jokes, timing is crucial when using yacht jokes in a conversation. Look for natural breaks in the discussion or moments when a joke can be seamlessly integrated. Avoid interrupting or forcing a joke into the conversation, as it may come off as awkward or inappropriate.

Keep it light and playful

Yacht jokes are meant to be fun and playful, so try to keep them light-hearted and humorous. Avoid using jokes that are offensive, inappropriate, or controversial. Instead, opt for jokes that are witty, clever, and suitable for the occasion.

Practice makes perfect

If you’re new to using yacht jokes in conversations, practice delivering them with confidence and a smile. The more you practice, the more comfortable you will become with incorporating jokes into your interactions. Remember to pay attention to the reactions of your audience and adjust your approach as needed.

By following these tips, you can effectively use yacht jokes to add a touch of humor and light-heartedness to your conversations. So, the next time you find yourself in a social setting, don’t hesitate to sail away with a clever yacht joke!

Final words

In conclusion, yacht jokes never fail to bring a smile to people’s faces, with their lighthearted humor and clever wit. These jokes add a touch of fun and playfulness to conversations about luxury yachts and boating. Whether it’s poking fun at the cost of yachts or the various quirks of yacht owners, these jokes are sure to entertain both enthusiasts and novices alike.

With their ability to spark laughter and create a sense of camaraderie among boating enthusiasts, yacht jokes have become a beloved tradition in the maritime community. The way they playfully highlight the extravagance and eccentricities of yacht culture makes for an enjoyable and entertaining experience. From the classic jabs at yacht sizes to the humorous anecdotes about yacht parties, there is no shortage of material to enjoy.

In the world of yacht humor, one can expect a treasure trove of hillarious yacht jokes waiting to be shared and enjoyed. So next time you find yourself aboard a yacht or discussing boating adventures, don’t forget to sprinkle in some of these witty jokes to keep the laughter flowing.

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yacht one liners

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Funny Boat Jokes: 63 Hilarious Jokes, Puns and One Liners

funny boat jokes

Who doesn’t love a good laugh? Whether you’re hoping to put a few smiles on the kids’ faces or if you were thinking to liven up that next boat party, it pays to come equipped with a few funny boat jokes.

But if your joke tank is running dry and your comic juices just aren’t flowing, then you can borrow a few of these tried and tested jokes to bring some smiles and sunshine to that next boating trip.

No-Fail Funny Boat Jokes

Lounging on a boat can get pretty quiet especially when lunch is finished and the sleepiness starts to settle in. But if you’re not looking for downtime and you want to keep things lively and loud, you could always toss a boat joke or two to spark some laughter.

Whether it’s for the kids or for the kids-at-heart, these no-fail jokes about boats should earn you a few laughs at your next boating get together.

  • 1 Why did the vegetable cargo ship sink? It had leeks.
  • 2 Did you hear about the successful boat business? I heard their sails were through the roof!
  • 3 Why did the boat offend every other boat at the dock? It was because of his pent up anchor.
  • 4 Hundreds of people lined up for the paddle sale at the boat shop. It was quite an oar deal.
  • 5 Why was the sea upset at the shore? Because it never waves back.
  • 6 What kind of boat will exchange money for your baby teeth? The Tooth Ferry.
  • 7 Did you hear about the boat that turned into a party barge? They say he gave into pier pressure.
  • 8 Where do sick boats go to get better? The dock, of course.
  • 9 What is considered the world’s best and fastest bilge pump? A frightened man with a bucket.
  • 10 Make sure you watch out for those new Bluetooth icebergs. I hear any ship that gets too close to one with sync.
  • 11 How can you tell if you’re buying a boat at a good price? When there’s a sail.
  • 12 What should you do to keep your boat in tip top shape? Give it a regular dose of vitamin sea, of course.
  • 13 What does a pirate do when there’s too much junk and clutter on his boat? He has a yaaarrrd sale.
  • 14 What’s the cheapest method of travel? By sail boat, of course.
  • 15 Did you hear about the zombies that could swim? They say they came from the Dead Sea.
  • 16 What is a sailor’s favorite detergent for washing clothes? Tide.
  • 17 Did you hear about the sailor who failed his boating exam? Word is he got C-sick.
  • 18 What do you call a broken boat in the middle of a storm? A hardship.
  • 19 Did you know that Captain Hook only paid half when he got his hook? That’s because he bought it from the second hand store.
  • 20 What do you call a boat that’s fully automated? A row-bot.
  • 21 Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll never be around for the weekends anymore.
  • 22 Why couldn’t the sailor distribute the cards for the card game? Because all hands were on the deck.
  • 23 What do you use to tighten up loose, sagging parts of a boat? Boat-tox.
  • 24 Did you hear about that amazing new nautical theme restaurant? I hear it’s pier-reviewed.
  • 25 What do you call the boat that Jesus was on when he calmed the storm? A worship.

Funny Boat Jokes to Keep the Party Going

If you thought those were funny, then you might find these next jokes on a different level. Keep a few at the ready to lighten the mood and break out some laughter while you enjoy the sun and fun with your family and friends.

  • 26 Did you hear about the fastest boat to have ever sailed? It was called the Usain Boat.
  • 27 What did the sailor say when his crew was finally ready to set sail? It’s a-boat time!
  • 28 What did the aspiring captain say to his boss? I’ll get my own boat schooner or later.
  • 29 What did the one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved at each other.
  • 30 What did the captain plead with Medusa when he accidentally looked her in the eye? Turn me into stone all you want but please, don’t rock the boat!
  • 31 Why did pirates always fail their alphabet tests? Because they never leave C.
  • 32 Why couldn’t the minor get in to watch the pirate movie? Because it was rated arrrr!
  • 33 Why did no one like to sit with the lady at the back of the boat? She was very stern.
  • 34 What did the empty boat say when he was asked why he wasn’t leaving the dock? “I haven’t got a crew.”
  • 35 What did Bugs Bunny say when he arrived at the marina? “What’s up, dock!”
  • 36 Why does everyone love boat stories? They always have a ferry tale ending.
  • 37 What did the choking life vest say to the rescue ring after he performed the Heimlich? “You’re a real life saver!”
  • 38 What did the deck say to the waves that came crashing on board? “Water you doing here!?”
  • 39 Did you hear about the premier cruise for zombies? I heard their destination was the Dead Sea.
  • 40 Why did the speed boat take double the time to get back as the rest of the boats? It decided to take the sea-nic route.
  • 41 Why didn’t the boat’s band come back with the rest of the crew? They were Maroon 5.
  • 42 Why didn’t they let the crew play the R18 film on the cruise? Because of censor-ship.
  • 43 What did they say was the best cure for scurvy? Vitamin Sea!
  • 44 Some of the cast of Friends were shipwrecked, but made it out alive. They say it was because Lisa Kudrow and David was a well-trained Schwimmer.
  • 45 What did the captain say to the boat that was following his boat too closely? “Hey, stop sailgating me!”

The Best Boat Jokes

Still looking for a few more jokes to bring to your next trip? These funny boat jokes should keep you well-equipped for hours of endless laughter and fun while you soak up the salty situation.

  • 46 If you ever need a custom boat built, let me know. I Noah guy who can help.
  • 47 What did the boat say to the other boat after he beat him to the punchline a third time? “You’re such a keel joy.”
  • 48 What did the canal say to the cargo boat that passed through uninvited? “You can’t just barge in like that!”
  • 49 How did they label the boxes of snails that were loaded on the barge? S-cargo.
  • 50 What did the ocean say to the sea after it added extra salt to its water? “Whatever floats your boat.”
  • 51 Why didn’t they let the passenger purchase the extra rope on deck? Because it was knot for sail.
  • 52 What’s the best way to enjoy a party on the waves? You sail-ebrate of course!
  • 53 Why did the captain think twice about adding a faucet to his boat? He was afraid it would sink.
  • 54 Did you hear about the cruise guest who tried talking to a Spanish cruise guest? He got lost at ‘si.’
  • 55 What’s the most popular movie in all of underwater history? The Codfather.
  • 56 What do you call housekeepers in Atlantis? Mermaids.
  • 57 Did you hear about the pirate who got his first pair of piercings? They said it cost him a buck an ear.
  • 58 What do you call the guy who attends to prospective customers at a boat dealership? A sails manager.
  • 59 There are four cigarettes and three men on a boat, but they don’t have any way to light up their cigs. So what do they do? They toss one out to the water, and their boat instantly becomes a cigarette lighter.
  • 60 What did one row boat say to the other after their candlelit dinner? “You are incredibly row-mantic!”
  • 61 What did the husband say to his wife after she nagged him for spending the day fishing. “C’mon honey, I just wanted to seas the day!”
  • 62 A person standing on a dock was startled by a man who was swimming through the water with his arms full of fishing gear. Frantic, he threw the gear on the dock shouting “Here, hold this!” He pointed back to the water to show his boat was almost completely sunk. As he threw his stuff to the man’s feet, he turned to swim back. “Where are you going?!” the man on the dock asked. “I’m going back for my wife!” he shouted.
  • 63 “It’s pretty windy today, I think I’ll postpone my trip and head back home,” said no boater ever.

Just for Laughs

It’s always nice to have a few jokes at the ready to liven up your next boating trip. Make sure to keep a copy of these funny boat jokes with you for your next excursion, or chalk them up to memory so you can break the ice and keep the party going as you enjoy the wind, waves, and quality time with your family and friends.

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yacht one liners

yacht one liners

Yacht Jokes

A french guy showed me his yachts..

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man asks a woman how to spell “yacht”

Bill gates dies and goes to heaven,, our first time out on our new yacht..., be careful what you wish for…, a husband and wife were having dinner, anybody interested in a free ride in a helicopter for 4 people i'm still looking for 2 more adults to join me and my wife., building yachts, what is communism, the billionaire and the mermaid whisperer, i've started a business building yachts in my attic, i saw an advert in the paper “yacht for sale”., there once lived a homeless man, making yachts during the coronavirus lockdown, two people are on a yacht, i’m writing a rock song about a guy out at sea, looking down at another guy’s smaller yacht., the president invites the pope to lunch on a boat. the pope accepted and during lunch, a puff of wind blew the pontiff's hat off, right into the water. it floated off about 50 feet, then the wind died down and it just floated in place., a ukrainian sailor was drilling holes in a russian oligarch's yacht..., an irish daughter..., i've started my own buisness building model yachts in my attic during lockdown., a luxury yacht catches fire somewhere in the south pacific and sinks...., a couple are having dinner at a nice restaurant. a lovely young woman walks up to the table, kisses the man on the cheek, and says, "see you later, sweetie" before walking away. the wife is livid., mr. johnson decided to go yachting one day, when he became lost., four older gentlemen are out golfing, sharing about their lives and eventually the topic of their children's professional success is brought up. the first guy steps up, hurriedly takes his shot, wiffs the ball off into the woods, and starts walking to find his ball without saying a word..., a beautiful lady of the evening owns a penthouse on lake shore drive. she’s entertaining a young man who is deciding what he’d like., what game have russian oligarchs stop playing, why are yachts and ships so scary, did you hear about the yacht builder that’s now having to work from home, a man was out at sea celebrating buying a new yacht with his girlfriend., a wealthy man was on an expensive yacht which was approaching the middle of the atlantic., 4 former classmates, who were great friends and who haven't seen each other in years meet at a restaurant, a wealthy man walks into a bar..., trump invites the pope on his yacht..., last will and testament..., american, french, italian and russian male, with spanish female are on a yacht for travel around the world..., four guys meet at their 25 year high school reunion…, what was the yacht doing while it played heavy metal music, they say money doesn't buy happiness, most billionaires are really just rounded up millionaires., misunderstood..., i used to have a beautiful house and a lovely car, until my friend introduced me to drugs..., after only a week of dating, my girlfriend broke up with me because she doesn't like my comparisons..., four men are talking..., a guy goes into a bar,, a teetotal guy talking to his alcoholic mate., do you have any to speak of, best birthday present ever, best friends, the barbies, a well-off couple are having dinner in a restaurant when..., a boss and his two workers had a genie appear before them..., dmitri the great, as soon as the stay at home order is lifted..., i told my friend i was an origami black belt he laughed.., there is some truth to the adage that money can't buy you love..., three men hold a contest in front of a panel of women to see who can pleasure a woman best., john, paddy and scott are on a trip in saudi arabia., sudden change of heart, there's this man walking along a beach and find's a lamp washed up on the shore, a religious man went out to sea, three married businessmen meet for their annual camping trip., a stranded man, an irish tale, a jewish girl and a greek boy fall in love, a rock musician, a classical musician and a jazz musician are sitting together, drinking..., tim and lyle, walking down main street with moshe, their boss, spied an oil lamp. with a rub, out popped a genie., a man joins a soccer team., read in "playboy", told by cc, herself, on "the tonight show", an extremely wealthy man invited his high school friends to his big estate for a reunion., a horny man goes to amsterdam..., hans turns up for his first day with the german coast guard. he's shown round the building, then taken to his new position as radio operator., a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar, three young women at a party.

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yacht one liners

Yachting Monthly

  • Digital edition

Yachting Monthly cover

Boat jokes to make you smile

  • Laura Hodgetts
  • October 19, 2020

A round-up of the most amusing nautical jokes we can find! If you have a side-splitter you would like to share, please email [email protected]

Anchor-chiefs

What do sailors use to blow their noses?

Anchor-chiefs.

Barcode Navy

Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?

So that when the ships come back into port they can Scandinavian!

Driving me nuts!

An ‘ol salt swaggers into a bar.

He has a ship’s wheel stuffed into the front of his trousers.

The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a ship’s wheel in your trousers!”

The ‘ol salt says, “Aye mate and it’s driving me nuts!”

Driving-Me-Nuts

CARTOON CREDIT: Kieron Black

A colourful crash

A boat carrying red paint crashed into a boat carrying blue paint and the crew were marooned.

Small change

A thirsty sailor runs from his boat to the nearest bar and shouts to the bartender: “Give me twenty shots of your best scotch, quick!”

The bartender pours out the shots, and the sailor drinks them as fast as he can.

The bartender is very impressed and exclaims: “Wow. I never saw anybody drink that fast.”

The sailor replies: “Well, you’d drink that fast too, if you had what I have.”

The bartender says: “Oh my God! What is it? What do you have?”

“50p!” replied the sailor.

Don’t start anything!

A sailor brings his boat up to a restaurant dock to eat lunch.

The dockhand says: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t let you dine here today. This establishment has a necktie policy, and you are not wearing one.”

“Of course I don’t have a tie on,” replied the sailor, “I’m on a boat!”

“Well, go down below and put one on,” said the dockhand.

“I don’t HAVE one!” shouted the sailor.

The dockhand, not wanting to turn away a customer, said: “Well, why don’t you just find something that approximates a tie. That should be OK.”

After some time, the sailor comes out with a pair of jumper cables. “This is all I could find to put around my neck,” he said.

Sighing, the deck hand said: “OK, I’ll let you in with those, but just don’t start anything.”

Continues below…

yacht one liners

Cruising confessions – Don’t forget your crew

Readers own up to their sailing sins. Each month, the best confession wins a Standard Horizon HX210E VHF radio worth…

yacht one liners

A sailing confession: Blinded by the light

Own up to your sailing sin for the chance to win a handheld VHF radio. Open to UK residents only

Circumnavigation

Cruising circumnavigation in the 1960s

Yachting Monthly was recently contacted to let us know about a new book, written in French and downloadable for free,…

What do you call a sail with only two corners?

“I haven’t got a clew!”

Testing a fishy theory

Two sailors are talking:

Sailor A: “I hear fish is good brain food.”

Sailor B: “Yeah, I eat it all the time.”

Sailor A: “Well, there goes another theory!”

Professional courtesy

A doctor, a dentist and a lawyer were in a boat together when a wave came along and washed them all overboard.

Unable to get back into the boat, they decided two would hold on to the boat and the third would swim to shore for help.

They noticed that there were hundreds of sharks between them and land.

Without a word the lawyer took off! As he swam the sharks move aside.

The dentist yelled: “It’s a miracle!”

“No”, said the doctor, “That’s professional courtesy!”

An expensive snore cure

A woman was nearing the end of her tether – every night her husband snored so loudly that it kept her awake.

She decided to call the family doctor to see if there was anything that could be done to relieve her nightly suffering.

“Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband of his snoring,”  said the doctor, “but I must warn you that it is rather expensive. It will cost you a deposit of £15,000, and payments of £1,000 for 48 months, as well as money for extras.”

“Good grief!” exclaimed the woman. “That sounds like I’m buying a yacht!”

“Hmm,” the doctor murmured, “too obvious, huh?”

Tricky light change

How many boaters does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, because the right size bulb isn’t on board, the local marine-supply store doesn’t carry that brand, and the mail-order house has them on back-order.

A little wave

Two people are out sailing when suddenly a hand appears in the sea.

“What’s this?” asked the skipper, “It looks as if someone is drowning!”

“No,” explained his crew, “It’s just a little wave.”

How did you get that eye patch?

A sailor and a pirate are in a bar recounting their adventures at sea. Seeing the pirate’s peg-leg, hook, and eye patch the sailor asks: “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?”

The pirate replies: “We were caught in a huge storm and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as me crew were pullin’ me out a school of sharks appeared and one of ’em bit me leg off.”

“Blimey!” said the sailor . “And how’d you get the hook?”

“Arrrr…”, mused the old salt, “I got into a fight over a woman in a bar, and me hand got chopped off.”

“Blimey!” remarked the sailor. “And how about the eye patch?”

“Oh that,” said the pirate, looking embarrassed. A seagull droppin’ fell into me eye.”

“You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” the questioner asked incredulously.

“Well…” said the old sea dog, “It was me first day with the hook.”

What did the newbie say to the skipper?

Newbie: “Do yachts like this sink very often?”

Skipper: “No, usually it’s only once.”

A catamaran sailing in the frostbite series race lost its mast and was nearly overturned by a large wave.

The headline in the club newsletter the next day was, ‘Cata-frostic Dismaster.’

Where did she go?

“My wife has just sailed to the Caribbean.”

“No, she wanted to.”

And didn’t spill a drop.

An old captain and his first mate are reminiscing about their days on the Arctic convoys of World War II together.

Captain: “All through those terrible, dark, storm wracked nights, you never once failed to bring me a steaming full mug of tea on the night watch. How on earth did you manage it without ever spilling a drop?

First mate: “Well Sir, since you ask, I used to take a swig of your tea in the galley, then spit it back in the mug when I got to your door.”

Why did the Pirate give his ship a coat of paint?

Its timbers were shivering.

No… you change your course!

Dead ahead, through the pitch-black night, a captain sees a light on a collision course with his ship.

Reaching for the radio, he says: “Change your course ten degrees east.”

“Change yours ten degrees west,” comes the reply.

The captain responds: “I’m a navy captain! Change your course, sir!”

“I’m a seaman second class,” the next reply comes back. “Change your course, sir.”

The captain is furious. “I’m a battleship! I’m not changing course!”

The man replies: “I’m in a lighthouse. Your call.”

The magician and the captain’s parrot

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again.

There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show:

“Look, it’s not the same hat.”

“Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table.”

“Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?”

The magician was furious but couldn’t do anything; it was, after all, the captain’s parrot.

One day the ship had an accident and sank.

The magician found himself adrift on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course.

They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day, then another, and another.

After a week the parrot said: “OK, I give up. What’d you do with the ship?”

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Here's a Joke

85 Jokes About Boats

Set sail with me through this collection of funny and irresistibly cheesy jokes about boats. And if you’ve got a nautical pun or boat joke up your sleeve, don’t leave it anchored in your mind! Feel free to write it in the comments below. I’m always looking to expand the joke lists with your witty contributions.

Cartoon graphic of large yacht on blue background.

I reckon the beauty of cheesy boat jokes and puns lies in their predictability. There’s something about puns that, even when you see them coming from a nautical mile away, still bring out a chuckle. Or, at the very least, an eye roll.

  • How did the wedding on the boat go? They had a ferry-tale ending.
  • What do you call a boat full of buddies? A friend-ship.
  • What sits at the bottom of the sea and quivers? A nervous wreck.
  • Where do zombies like to go sailing? The dead Sea.
  • Why did the sailing instructor jump into the water ? She wanted to test the water.
  • Why did the dolphin chase the boat? To find its porpoise!
  • What was the name of the boat filled with football players? Sportsman-ship.
  • How do you get a good deal on the boat? When there is a sail on it.
  • How to make a boat feel healthy? Just give it some vitamin sea.
  • What is the name of the boat that is famous among people? Relation-ship.
  • How much did the pirate pay for his piercings? A buck-an- ear .
  • Why couldn’t the famous pirate sell his ship? Because it was unassailable.
  • Why did the admiral decide against buying a new hat? He was worried about cap sizing.
  • What’s another name for the captain of a sail boat? A sails manager.
  • Do you want to keep paddling in circles or not? It’s an either oar situation.
  • What was the name of the optometrist who came on the boat? A see captain.
  • What causes some boats to become party boats? Pier pressure.
  • Why didn’t the sailors play cards ? Because the captain was standing on the deck.
  • How do you make luxury yacht charters look younger? Boat-tox.
  • Why was the boat on a dating app? To find a relation-ship.
  • What was the name of the pirate that did not fear the tides? Johnny Depth.
  • Why are boats not weirded out by another boat and their activities? Because they respect whatever floats each other’s boats.
  • Where do the sick boats go for checkups? To the doc.
  • Where did Bugs Bunny decide to park his boat ? At the What’s-up dock.
  • What kind of vegetable is not allowed on ships ? Leeks.
  • What was the name of the dentist’s office, which got opened on a boat? The tooth ferry.
  • What was the discount rate at the boat store ? A two-for-one sail.
  • Why did the students go on the boat? To get their scholar-ship!
  • How did the wedding on the boat go? They had a ferry-tale ending!

Cartoon graphic of Viking boat on blue background.

More Cheesy Boat Jokes

So, these jokes might not be sophisticated humor, but they’re perfect for sharing among friends and family.

  • What do you call the fastest sailboat in the world? Usain Boat
  • What ship is most liked by all the vampires ? Blood vessel.
  • How was the sailing business going on in the boat? The sails were going through the roof.
  • From where did Captain Hook buy his hook? At a second- hand store.
  • What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? – You may think it’s the RRRR, but it’s the C that they are in love with.
  • What activity do zombies like to do on a cruise ship? They like to shuffle-board.
  • What did the ship’s captain say when she got stuck trying to navigate through a narrow channel? We’re in dire straits.
  • If your boat gets sick, I know a great dock. It’s pier-reviewed.
  • What did Gotye say after he sold his boat? Now you’re just a boat that I used to row.
  • Have you heard about the Bluetooth iceberg? Any ship that goes near it will sync.
  • How were the goods transported through the ship? With the help of car -go.
  • Which movie do sailors like to watch the most? The Codfather.
  • My friend was late for our sailing trip. When she arrived, it was a-boat time.
  • A car ferry sailed past. “That’s a ferry impressive boat” shouted the captain.
  • T he baby boats are all scared of the boat teacher . She’s very stern. ( Fun fact – The stern is the rear of a boat.)
  • How did the sailors get marooned? A ship load of blue crashed into a ship load full of red paint.
  • What is the sailors favorite store to shop at? Old Navy.
  • Why are pirates so bad at learning the alphabet? Because they always get stuck at C.
  • A brother and sister were arguing about oars in their boat. They were having a row.
  • I got my friend a row boat . But I’d better a-skiff she wants it. ( Fun fact – A skiff is a flat-bottomed boat .)

Cartoon graphic of fisherman on small boat on blue background.

Boat one liners

Now, this list is about setting sail with the right mindset. You gotta understand that sometimes, the cheesier the one-liner, the more endearing it becomes. Right? After all, isn’t there a particular joy in sharing a joke so corny that it unites everyone in collective eye-rolling?

  • This boat is giving me a stern look.
  • It’s a-boat time.
  • This will be my lega-sea.
  • Don’t mean to just barge in here.
  • Today is knot too bad.
  • I’m ferry impressed by this sea day.
  • Don’t be a pain in the boat.
  • This is what it’s all a-boat.
  • It’s al-waves fun when we’re out on the boat.
  • It’s always ferry fun with you around.
  • Loving this day boatloads.
  • Taking the sea-nic route today.
  • I’m knot shore if you noticed, but I’m on a boat.
  • I haven’t got a crew.
  • Saying goodbye to my piers.
  • I anchor-age you to get out on the water more often.
  • I’m all a-boat loving you.
  • How a-boat it?
  • I’m really just seas-ing the day.
  • This is the mast fun I’ve had in a long time.

Cartoon graphic of cruise ship on blue background.

Final thoughts

Alright, mateys, that wraps up this voyage through boat jokes! Do you have a boat joke of your own? Sail it this way! Let’s keep the laughs coming and the boat rocking. Let’s keep those puns sailin’!

If you want to hear more funny jokes then check out these other great lists of vehicle jokes .

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Hi!  I'm Che , and I hope you enjoy these jokes as much as me. These jokes lists are curated by me alone. I handpick the jokes for quality, create some myself or add ones that have been contributed by readers like you.

I constantly update  Here's A Joke  posts to ensure top quality. Not feeling a joke or got one to share? Let me know in the comments or  contact me . With your support, I'm aiming for the best joke site around.

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The Right Wording

The Right Wording

Messages and Examples For The Right Wording For Any Occasion

50+ Ferry Impressive Boat Puns That Are Knot Too Shabby

Sharing is caring!

Searching the seven seas for a good boat pun? Drop your anchor here for the big list of clever puns about boats!

Boat life can be relaxing, adventurous, and funny! A good boat pun or joke can have you appreciating your boat and the lifestyle that comes with it.

In need of a funny boat name pun? Scroll down for those as well. Where you’re feeling nauti or nice, there’s sure to be a clever pun about boats that you can happily share.

Ferry Impressive Boat Puns That Are Knot Too Shabby

Best Boat Puns

  • 4 star Dadmiral
  • A salt weapon
  • It’s salt good (it’s all good)
  • Just call salt
  • Don’t be so stern
  • Stern, Baby Stern
  • I’d rather nautical
  • Feeling nauti?
  • Last but naut least
  • Ferry impressive
  • A ferry-tale ending
  • Fix your wrinkles with some boat-ox
  • I like big boats and I cannot lie
  • It’s aboat time
  • Pain in the boat
  • What’s this all aboat?
  • You are so boat-iful to me…

READ: Pirate Ship Names: A Sweeping List of Famous Vessels

Ferry Impressive Boat Puns That Are Knot Too Shabby, Funny clever boat names and jokes #boat #boats #boatjokes #boatpuns #puns

  • I’ve a-mast-d many boat puns
  • Kiss my mast
  • Weapon of mast destruction
  • No Ship, Sherlock
  • Piece of ship
  • Ship for brains
  • Ship happens
  • Ship out of luck
  • Oar-ed out of my mind
  • I didn’t choose the tugboat life, the tugboat life chose me This is my Pugboat

Ferry Impressive Boat Puns That Are Knot Too Shabby, Funny clever boat names and jokes #boat #boats #boatjokes #boatpuns #puns

  • Schooner or later
  • Your jokes are keeling me
  • Plank you, next Plank you very much
  • Rudder you than me
  • Sending deck pics
  • Take a bow Bow Movement
  • Having a hull of a time

Ferry Impressive Boat Puns That Are Knot Too Shabby, Funny clever boat names and jokes #boat #boats #boatjokes #boatpuns #puns

  • Yachta Yachta Yachta
  • You’ve yacht to be kidding me
  • Cruisin for a brusin
  • Cruisehound
  • It’s quite a cruizy (doozy)
  • Win or Cruise
  • Sail-abrate good times, come on!
  • Dock and Roll
  • Dock Dynasty
  • What’s up, dock?
  • You’re anchor-rigible (incorrigible)
  • Careful, you don’t want to anchor an additional cost. (incur)

Sea And Fish Puns

Ferry Impressive Boat Puns That Are Knot Too Shabby, Funny clever boat names and jokes #boat #boats #boatjokes #boatpuns #puns

  • Fish and Chicks
  • Fish upon a star
  • I’m afraid knot
  • Knot for sail
  • Knot on my watch
  • Knotty or nice
  • Knot too shabby
  • More often than knot
  • Going craz-sea
  • I sea what you did there
  • Sea – E – O
  • Sea – I – E – I O
  • Seas the day
  • Sea ya later!
  • The sea-nic route

Ferry Impressive Boat Puns That Are Knot Too Shabby, Funny clever boat names and jokes #boat #boats #boatjokes #boatpuns #puns

  • It’s a shore thing
  • I’m knot shore
  • Who’s shore daddy?
  • Waterever it takes
  • Water you looking at?
  • Water we doing here?
  • In Wave Danger
  • Yeah, buoy!
  • Pier pressure
  • I don’t want bait any longer
  • Master baiter
  • Twist of bait

Ferry Impressive Boat Puns That Are Knot Too Shabby, Funny clever boat names and jokes #boat #boats #boatjokes #boatpuns #puns

Punny Boat Names

In need of a funny boat name pun? “Sea” if any of the clever boat pun names below will float your boat.

  • Angelina Row-lie
  • Bait Blanchett
  • Bait Winslow
  • Den-sail Washington
  • Ferry Manilow
  • Halle Ferry
  • Hilary Plank
  • Jennifer Oar-rence
  • Johnny Depth
  • Lu-sea Ricardo
  • Mariah Ferry
  • Michael Oar-den

Ferry Impressive Boat Puns That Are Knot Too Shabby, Funny clever boat names and jokes #boat #boats #boatjokes #boatpuns #puns

  • Natalie Portman
  • Oar-gen Freeman
  • Paul Rudd-er
  • Pier-ce Brosnan
  • Row-seph Gordon Levitt
  • Salter White
  • Salter Cronkite
  • Sea. Sea. Sebathia
  • Scuba Gooding jr
  • Why did the sailor bring his fishing pole to the boat? Because he wanted to catch some waves!
  • Why did the boat break up with the pier? It just wasn’t working out – they were drifting apart.
  • What do you call a boat that’s always telling jokes? A rowboat-t!
  • Why do boats make good detectives? Because they have a keen sense of hull-observation!
  • What do you call a boat that can’t float? A sink-boat!
  • What did the boat say when it had a headache? “I think I need to go to the dock-tor!”
  • Why did the boat go to the doctor? It was feeling a little “ship-sick!”
  • What do you call a pirate who sells boats? A sail-sman!
  • Why do boats go to the gym? To stay ship-shape!
  • Why don’t boats like to wear bow ties? Because they prefer to wear bow lines!

Boat One Liners

  • A boat’s favorite place to go shopping? The dockside!
  • How do boats communicate? They use Nautical-terms!
  • What did the sailor say when he met the mermaid? “Nice to sea you!”
  • Why do boats make terrible dancers? Because they have two left oars!
  • What do you call a boat that’s afraid of the water? A row-chicken!
  • Why did the boat become a detective? It wanted to solve the mystery of the missing anchor!
  • What do you call a boat that’s always on time? Punctu-yacht!
  • What do you call a boat that’s also a magician? A deck-trick!
  • Why did the boat join the military? To get a sea-ducation!
  • What do you call a boat that’s also a musician? A ferry-note!
  • 100+ Best Beach and Ocean Captions to Seas The Day
  • 50+ Fintastic Fish Puns That Don’t Get Any Betta Than This
  • 40+ Best Captions For That Beautiful Sunset Picture

Ferry Impressive Boat Puns That Are Knot Too Shabby, Funny clever boat names and jokes #boat #boats #boatjokes #boatpuns #puns

22 Sailing Jokes That Will Send You Into Waves Of Laughter

sailing jokes

There’s nothing quite like a wave and a good sailing joke to make a new maritime friendship. We don’t mean to say that sailing isn’t serious business — the beauty of the open sea may have you looking for inspiring quotes , or for romantic sayings when the sun sets over the waves. But sometimes, after all that hard work and introspection, you need a little laugh to break the waves. These sailing jokes will leave you lost at sea with laughter!

1. What do you do with a drunker sailor?

Worry he’s gonna get wrecked!

2. “Can you go pick up my boat ? It’s at the dock.”

Oh no! Is it sick? You should give it some vitamin sea.

3. A pirate walks into a bar with a ship’s steering wheel in his pants.

The bartender says: “Hey, did you know you’ve got a steering wheel in your pants?”

“Aye, sir that it be, “says the pirate, “it’s driving me nuts!”

4. At the regatta, the blue sailboat hit the red one…

They were marooned !

5. Guy goes out on a friends yacht and asks, “don’t these cheap yachts sink all the time.”

His brother answers: “All the time? If it’s gonna sink, it’ll only be once!”

6. Two sailors talking, the first one says, “My girlfriend just sailed to the Caribbean.”

“Jamaica?” The other one asked.

“Heck no! She’d been wanting to go for a long time.”

7. When is it time to paint another coat on a pirate ship?

When its timbers be shivering!

8. What do British sea monsters eat?

Why fish and ships, of course!

9. Guy at the Marina: “So which of these boats is the one I won in the dice game?”

“Yacht C,” the attendant says.

“No. Craps!”

10. Don’t worry. Schooner or later, you’ll learn to sail!

Related: 100+ Nerdy Science Jokes For The Little Genius In Your Life

11. Why do pirates have such a hard time remembering the alphabet?

They get lost at “C”.

12. How do boats say hello to one another?

13. Pirate at the pirate awards : “And I would like to thank me wife, me daughters, and last boat not least, my ship!’

14. What do sailors get when they’re finally cured of writer’s block?

A tidal wave.

15. What did Watson say to his boss when he noticed their boat had to be towed?

“No shit! Sherlock.”

16. I went to the Black Friday sale at the boat store.

It was quite an oar deal.

17. Why is the boat always getting great deals?

It loves a sail.

18. How do you know when a boat is feeling affectionate?

When it hugs the shore!

19. What’s the sailor’s favorite detergent?

20. What did they call the boat that refused to let sea men on?

Censor-ship.

21. How do you rejuvenate an old boat?

22. Where do zombies go sailing?

In the Dead Sea.

Related: 100+ Nature Jokes That Will Put A Tree-mendous Smile On Your Face

This article was originally published on November 20, 2019

yacht one liners

Puns And One Liners

Puns And One Liners

Check our Twitter and Facebook feeds for a joke on the hour every hour…

Tag: Yacht Jokes

Yacht jokes.

A friend has cooking utensils on his exotic yacht. Pyrex of the Caribbean.

This week’s topic for one liners and puns is yacht jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of funniness or originality, but I do hope they float your boat…       Why are fast yachts like popular furniture stores? Both always seem to have a sail on.   Which sailors blow their noses… Continue reading Yacht Jokes

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38 Hilarious Boat Jokes To Make You Laugh

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Here are some hilarious boat jokes to make you laugh!

Table of Contents

One-Liners and Boat Puns

  • What do you do with a sick boat? Take it to the doc.
  • Which type of vegetable is banned on ships? Leeks!
  • A dentist opened an office on a boat.  What was the boat’s name? The Tooth Ferry
  • Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
  • I started a successful boat building business in the attic of my house. Sails are going through the roof!
  • What causes some boats to become party boats? Pier pressure.
  • What do you call two boaters who fall in love? Row-mance.
  • Why didn’t the sailors play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck.
  • How do you make luxury yacht charters look younger? Boat-Tox.
  • What do you call the fastest sailboat in the world? Usain Boat.
  • If your boat gets sick, I know a great dock. It’s pier-reviewed.
  • One ship carrying blue paint collided with another ship carrying red paint. The crew is missing and believed to be marooned.
  • What did Gotye say after he sold his boat? Now you’re just a boat that I used to row.
  • How many boaters does it take to change a lightbulb? None, because the right size bulb isn’t on board, the local marine-supply store doesn’t carry that brand, and the mail-order house has them on back-order.
  • What’s the world’s most efficient bilge pump? A scared man with a bucket.
  • A very nervous first-time crew member says to the skipper, “Do boats like this sink very often?” “Not too often,” replied the skipper. “Usually it’s only the once.”
  • Have you heard about the Bluetooth iceberg? Any ship that goes near it will sync.
  • When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? When there’s a sail on it.
  • How do you make a boat feel better? Give it some vitamin sea.
  • What do you call a boat full of buddies? A friend-ship.
  • Making a boat out of stone would be a hardship.
  • When the bottom of a cargo ship got a hole, it had one hull of a problem.
  • Why did the sailing instructor jump into the water? She wanted to test the water!
  • What detergent do sailors use? Tide.
  • Where do zombies like to go sailing? The Dead Sea.
  • What does the term BOAT stand for? Bring out another thousand.
  • What do you call a long boat trip with actors? Tom Cruise
  • What do you call a boat full of students? A Scholar-ship
  • What do you call a dark red ship? A blood vessel
  • Why don’t cruise ships ever get lost? Because they always follow a “sea-nic” route!

Longer Boating Jokes

The fisherman.

On a Friday afternoon a man calls home from the office and says to his wife, “Honey, the boss just asked me to go fishing for the weekend at a big lake up in Canada. This might help me get that promotion I’ve been wanting. So would you please pack enough clothes for me for a week and set out my rod and my tackle box? We’re leaving right from the office, but I’ll swing by the house to pick up my things. Oh! And, would you please pack my blue silk pajamas?”

The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy, but being a good wife she does exactly as her husband asks. Late Sunday night “hubby” comes home… and he’s really tired.

The wife welcomes him home and asks if he and his boss caught a lot of fish.

“Oh, yes”, he answers. “Lots of Walleye, some Bluegill, and a few Pike. But, um, why didn’t you pack my silk pajamas as I asked you to do?”

The wife replies, “Oh, but I did, sweetheart… they were in your tackle box!”

The Collision

Late one foggy night two boaters collide head-on while trying to navigate a narrow inlet channel. Both their boats were damaged, disabled and slowly sinking.

As they each watched their boats slowly slip away beneath them, the first boater said: ” You know, this is a sign that we should never take life for granted and that we should live it to the fullest”.

“You are right,” said the other boater as he opened a cooler and pulled out a bottle of bourbon whiskey. Let’s drink to living well for the rest of our lives.

The first boater took the bottle and, after a big swig, handed it back to the other boater who in turn quickly threw it into the river.

More than a little surprised the first boater exclaimed: ” You didn’t take a drink!?”

“Naw”, said the other boater, “I think I’ll just wait for the Coast Guard to show up.”

The Skipper

A group of Skippers is walking through town looking for crew, when they see a five-story building with a sign that read, “Crew Association: Ship’s Crew Available” Since they are without their crews, they decide to go in. The Security Guard, a very salty type, explains to them how it works. “We have five floors. Go up floor by floor and once you find what you are looking for you can go there and make a selection. It’s easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you who’s inside.”

Everything seems wonderful, so they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads, “All the crew on this floor are beginners.” The skippers laugh, and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads, “All the crew here are experienced, smart but weak.”

Still, this isn’t good enough, so the Skippers continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads, “All the crew here are experienced, smart and strong.” They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they kept going. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect, “All the crew here are experienced, smart, strong and Former Americas Cup Champions.” The Skippers get excited and are about to go in when they realize that there is still one floor left.

Wondering what they are missing, they head up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads, “There are no crew here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a Skipper!”

The Preacher

A preacher fell into the ocean and he couldn’t swim.  When a boat came by, the captain yelled, “Do you need help, sir?” The preacher calmly said “No, God will save me.”

A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, “Hey, do you need help?” The preacher replied again, “No God will save me.”

Eventually, the preacher drowned & went to heaven.

The preacher asked God, “Why didn’t you save me?”

God replied, “Fool, I sent you two boats!”

A sailor brings his boat up to a restaurant dock to eat lunch.

The dockhand says, “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t let you dine here today. This establishment has a necktie policy, and you are not wearing one.”

“Of course I don’t have a tie on,” replied the sailor, “I’m on a boat!”

“Well, go down below and put one on,” said the dockhand.

“I don’t HAVE one!” shouted the sailor.

The dockhand, not wanting to turn away a customer, said: “Well, why don’t you just find something that approximates a tie. That should be OK.”

After some time, the sailor comes out with a pair of jumper cables. “This is all I could find to put around my neck,” he said.

Sighing, the dockhand said: “OK, I’ll let you in with those, but just don’t start anything.”

The Bass Boat

A good old Alabama boy won a bass boat in a raffle drawing.

He brought it home and his wife looks at him and says, “What you gonna do with that. There ain’t no water deep enough to float a boat within 100 miles of here.”

He says, “I won it and I’m a-gonna keep it.”

His brother came over to visit several days later. He sees the wife and asks where his brother is.

She says, “He’s out there in his bass boat”, pointing to the field behind the house.

The brother heads out behind the house and sees his brother in the middle of a big field sitting in a bass boat with a fishing rod in his hand.

He yells out to him, “What are you doin’?”

His brother replies, “I’m fishin’. What does it look like I’m a doin’?”

His brother yells, “It’s people like you that give people from Alabama a bad name, makin’ everybody think we’re stupid. If I could swim, I’d come out there whoop up on you!”

The Old Sea Captain

An old sea captain was sitting on a bench near the wharf when a young man walked up and sat down.

The young man had spiked hair and each spike was a different color…. green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.

After a while, the young man noticed that the captain was staring at him.

“What’s the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?

The old captain replied, “Got drunk once and married a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son!”

The American Fisherman

An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna.

The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied that it took only a little while.

The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs.

The American then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time?

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senior.”

The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually, you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery.

You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then Los Angeles and eventually New York City where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But senior, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15 to 20 years.”

“But what then, senior?”

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions.”

“Millions, senior? Then what?

The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your grandkids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

Related Article: 13 Clever Ways to Get a Good Deal on (New) Boats

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75+ Best Sailing Quotes for Your Inner Sailor

sailboat at anchor pointed at islands

The freedom that comes with casting off the lines and heading out into open water is something many authors, poets, and explorers have aimed to express in words.

This list contains the best sailing quotes, whether from a famous writer or an avid sailor.

Monohull sailboat with sails up on the ocean

Many of these famous quotes about sailing are inspirational, while others represent the challenges of a sailing lifestyle. Other sayings on the list are sailing metaphors for life – inspiration for all sailors, world travelers, and adventurers!

Find a specfic type of sailing quote in the sections below, or browse all the quotes.

Sail Away Quotes

Below are sailor sayings that express what it feels like to live on the ocean. These quotes make you want to cast off the lines and sail away with no plan for return to port.

1. “There is nothing more enticing, disenchanting, and enslaving than the life at sea.” —  Joseph Conrad, Polish-British Writer

2. “I wanted freedom, open air, and adventure. I found it on the sea.” —  Alaine Gerbault, French Sailor

Sail away inspired quote, “I wanted freedom, open air, and adventure. I found it on the sea.” - Alain Gerbault, written above a red sunset over the ocean.

3. “Smell the sea and feel the sky. Let your soul and spirit fly.” —  Van Morrison, Irish Singer-Songwriter

4. “Flying might not be all plain sailing, but the fun of it is worth the price.” —  Amelia Earhart, American Aviation Pioneer & Author

5. “A man is never lost at sea.” —  Ernest Hemingway, American Writer

6. “It is not that life ashore is distasteful to me. But life at sea is better.” ―  Sir Francis Drake, English Explorer

Inspirational sailing away quote, “It is not that life ashore is distasteful to me. But life at sea is better.” - Sir Francis Drake, written above a woman holding a main stay looking at the colors across the water at twilight.

7. “The days pass happily with me wherever my ship sails.” —   Joshua Slocum, First Person to Single-Hand Circumnavigate

8. “For whatever we lose (like a you or a me), it’s always our self we find in the sea.” — E.E. Cummings, American Poet & Author

9. “To young men contemplating a voyage, I’d say go.” — Joshua Slocum, First Person to Single-Hand Circumnavigate

Inspirational Sailing Quotes

These are our favorite sailing and sailboat quotes that capture the feeling of a day on the water.

10. “A bad day sailing is 100 times better than a good day at work.” —  Unknown

11. “Hark, now hear the sailors cry, smell the sea, and feel the sky let your soul and spirit fly, into the mystic.” — Van Morrison, Northern Irish Singer & Songwriter

12. “It’s out there at sea that you are really yourself.” — Vito Dumas, Argentine Solo Sailor & Circumnavigator

13. “You haven’t lived until you’ve sailed.” — David Sedaris, Theft by Finding: Diaries

Pinterest image of a woman on the dolphin seat of a catamaran under sail.

14. “The sail, the play of its pulse so like our own lives: so thin and yet so full of life, so noiseless when it labors hardest, so noisy and impatient when least effective.” — Henry David Thoreau, American Poet & Philosopher

15. “On a day when the wind is perfect, the sail just needs to open and the world is full of beauty.” — Rumi, Persian Poet

16. “Confronting a storm is like fighting God. All the powers in the universe seem to be against you and, in an extraordinary way, your irrelevance is at the same time both humbling and exalting.” — Francis LeGrande

Sailing Quotes About Life

These are our favorite sailing quotes that are metaphors for life and translate to its many challenges and struggles.

17. “The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore.” ―  Vincent Van Gogh, Dutch Post-Impressionist Painter

18. “I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship.” ―  Louisa May Alcott, American Poet

19. “If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable.” ―  Seneca, Roman Philosopher

20. “I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul.” ― William Ernest Henley, English Poet & Writer

Pinterest image of a small sailboat in a beautiful, but eerie and foggy anchorage.

21. “Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate.” —  Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean

22. “Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air.” ―  Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Philosopher

23. “The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.” ―  William Arthur Ward, American Writer

24. “Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than those you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the wind in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ―  Mark Twain, American Writer

25. “On life’s vast ocean, diversely we sail. Reasons the card, but passion the gale.” ―  Alexander Pope, English Poet

Sailing quote about life, “On life’s vast ocean, diversely we sail. Reason the card, passion the gale.” - Alexander Pope, written above a jib sheet line with the ocean view in the background.

26. “One’s destination is never a place, but always a new way of seeing things.” —  Henry Miller, American Writer & Artist

27. “Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.” —  Franklin D. Roosevelt, 32nd U.S. President

28. “You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” — Christopher Columbus, Italian Explorer

29. “Any fool can carry on, but a wise man knows how to shorten sail in time.” ―  Joseph Conrad,   Polish-British Writer

30. “There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.” — Willa Cather, American Writer

Cruising Quotes

These quotes are for the full-time cruisers living a life on the water. These are some of our favorite sayings about modern-day life on a sailboat.

31. “To be successful at sea, we must keep things simple.” ―   Pete Culler, Author & Renowned Wooden Boat Builder

32. “Go small, go simple, go now.” ―  Larry Pardey, Sailor & Writer

33. “At sea, I learned how little a person needs, not how much.” —  Robin Lee Graham, American Sailor

Cruising quote, “At sea I learned how little a person needs, not how much.” - Robin Graham, written above a sailboat sailing on blue water.

34. “The single commandment of anchoring is ‘thou shall create scope.'” ― Reese Palley, Art Dealer & Circumnavigator

35. “The charm of singlehanded cruising is not solitude, but independence.” — Claud Worth, Master Mariner & Writer

36. “The lovely thing about cruising is that planning usually turns out to be of little use.” —  Dom Degnon, Yacht Broker & Freelance Writer

37. “Cruising is fixing your boat in exotic locations.” —  Unknown

Pinterest image of sand dunes with text overlay of Pete Goss quote.

38. “Home is where the anchor drops.” —  Unknown

39. “If you are going to do something, do it now. Tomorrow is too late.”   —  Pete Goss, British Sailor

40. “The planning stage of a cruise is often just as enjoyable as the voyage itself, letting one’s imagination loose on all kinds of possibilities. Yet translating dreams into reality means a lot of practical questions have to be answered.” —  Jimmy Cornell, British Sailor & Author

41. “It’s remarkable how quickly a good and favorable wind can sweep away the maddening frustrations of shore living.” —  Ernest K. Gann, American Sailor & Author

Sailing and Adventure Quotes from Novels

These quotes are from some of our favorite novels. They encapsulate life on the water, the sailing lifestyle, and seeking adventure!

42. “Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.” —  Mark Twain, Life on the Mississippi

43. “To move, to breathe, to fly, to float, to gain all while you give, to roam the roads of lands remote, to travel is to live.” ―  Hans Christian Andersen, The Fairy Tale of My Life: An Autobiography

Adventure novel quote, “To move, to breathe, to fly, to float - To gain all while you give - To roam the roads, of lands remote - To travel is to live.” - Hans Christian Andersen, written over clear blue water calmly lapping a pebble beach and driftwood

44. “The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.” ―  Christopher McCandless, Into the Wild

45. “The truths of the sea, like the truths of the soul, cannot be reduced to numbers.” ― Webb Chiles, The Ocean Waits

46. “There is nothing — absolutely nothing — half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats. In or out of ’em, it doesn’t matter. Nothing seems really to matter, that’s the charm of it. Whether you get away, or whether you don’t; whether you arrive at your destination or whether you reach somewhere else, or whether you never get anywhere at all, you’re always busy, and you never do anything in particular; and when you’ve done it there’s always something else to do, and you can do it if you like, but you’d much better not.” —  Kenneth Grahame, The Wind in the Willows

Quotes About Ships

Whether as vessels of exploration, symbols of resilience, or metaphors for life’s journey, ships have long captured the esscense of the adventurer’s spirit.

47. “A ship in the harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.” ―  John A. Shedd, American Author

48. “The goal is not to sail the boat, but rather to help the boat sail herself.” — John Rousmaniere, American Author

Inspiration sailing quote “The goal is not to sail the boat, but rather to help the boat sail herself.” - John Rousmaniere, written above a couple on the bow of a sailboat with the sails flying.

49. “It’s not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails, that’s what a ship needs but what a ship is…what the Black Pearl really is…is freedom.” —  Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean

50. “A sailing vessel is alive in a way that no ship with mechanical power ever be.” ― Aubrey de Selincourt, English Writer

51. “Ships are the nearest things to dreams that hands have ever made, for somewhere deep in their oaken hearts the soul of a song is laid.” — Robert N. Rose, Poet

Ocean Quotes

These quotes are specifically about the ocean or the sea. If you are a sailor or beach lover, I’m sure you love to romanticize the sea, and these quotes will resonate with you.

52. “The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever.” ―  Jacques Yves Cousteau, French Naval Officer

53. “We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch – we are going back from whence we came.” ―  John F. Kennedy, 35th U.S. President

54. “Dance with the waves, move with the sea, let the rhythm of the water set your soul free.” ―  Christy Ann Martine, Canadian Poet

55. “At the beach, life is different. Time doesn’t move hour to hour but mood to moment. We live by currents, plan by the tides, and follow the sun.” ―  Sandy Gingras, Writer & Illustrator

Quote about the ocean, “At the beach, life is different. Time doesn’t move hour to hour but mood to moment. We live by currents, plan by the tides, and follow the sun.” - Sandy Gingras, written on top of a picture of a people beach with a wave crashing on the shore.

56. “Every time I slip into the ocean, it’s like going home.” ―  Sylvia Earle, American Marine Biologist

57. “If there’s a heaven for me, I’m sure it has a beach attached to it.” ―  Jimmy Buffett, American Singer-Songwriter

58. “The sea is a desert of waves, a wilderness of water.” —  Langston Hughes, American Poet

Funny Sailing Quotes

This selection features funny sailing quotes from poets, writers, and modern-day cruisers, that explore the lighter side of life at sea.

59. “Sailing – The fine art of slowly going nowhere at great expense while being cold, wet, and miserable.” — Irv Heller

60. “The sea speaks a language polite people never repeat. It is a colossal scavenger slang and has no respect.” — Carl Sandburg, American Poet

61. “Any damn fool can navigate the world sober. It takes a really good sailor to do it drunk.” —  Sir Francis Chichester, Sailor & Author (First Man to Single-Hand Circumnavigate Non-Stop)

62. “Later down the road of life, I made the discovery that salt water was also good for the mental abrasions one inevitably acquires on land.” — Jimmy Buffett, American Singer-Songwriter (A Pirate Looks at Fifty)

63. “Only two sailors, in my experience, never ran aground. One never left port, and the other was an atrocious liar.” —  Don Bamford, Sailor & Author

Pinterest image of blue green ocean water that is smooth as glass with text overlay of Don Bamford quote.

64. “The chance for mistakes is about equal to the number of crew squared.” — Ted Turner, Entrepreneur & America’s Cup Winner

65. “Land was created to provide a place for boats to visit.” ‍‍— Brooks Atkinson, American Theatre Critic

66. “When the draught of your vessel exceeds the depth of the water, you are most assuredly, aground.” — Ian Walsh

67. “A sailor is an artist whose medium is the wind. Live passionately, even if it kills you, because something is going to kill you anyway.” — Webb Chiles , Writer & Sailor

68. “Being hove to in a long gale is the most boring way of being terrified, I know.” — Donald Hamilton, American Writer

69. “If we get lost, we’ll just pull in somewhere and ask directions.” — Captain Ron Rico (Captain Ron)

70. “The only way to get a good crew is to marry one.” — Eric Hiscock, British Sailor & Author

Sailing Quotes from Movies

These unforgettable sailing quotes are all from the silver screen, where the sea has played a starring role in captivating audiences for decades.

71. “A diesel loves her oil same as a sailor loves rum.” — Captain Ron Rico (Captain Ron)

72. “It’s not just sails and knots, it’s seeing where you’re going in your mind. Knowing where you are by knowing where you’ve been.” — Maui (Moana)

Pinterest image with view of island from a sailboat at sunset and text of Moana quote overlayed.

73. “You know, there have been more people in space than have sailed around the world. I didn’t even know it was something you can do, but you can, and I want to. ‘Cause I’m an adventurer.” — Jessica Watson (True Spirit)

74. “You can’t run from the wind. You trim your sails, face the music, and keep going.”  — Captain Christopher “Skipper” Sheldon (White Squall)

75. “Now…bring me that horizon.” —  Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean)

76. “But it ain’t all buttons and charts, little albatross. You know what the first rule of flying is? Love. You can learn all the math in the ‘Verse, but you take a boat in the air that you don’t love, she’ll shake you off just as sure as the turning of the worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down, tells you she’s hurtin’ ‘fore she keens. Makes her a home.” — Captain Malcolm Reynolds (Serenity)

READ NEXT: Check out many of the movies that feature these quotes on our sailing movies list .

Share your favorite sailing quotes.

I hope you were inspired or even nodded along in agreement with some of the sailor sayings on this list.

I’m sure I’m missing some other famous sailing quotes, so feel free to leave your favorite nautical saying in the comments below or even a personal quote that resonates with you!

RELATED ARTICLES

If you liked this list of sailing quotes, you will find many of these authors, songwriters, and actors on our other lists below.

  • 25 Epic Sailing Songs for Sailors & Modern-Day Pirates
  • 35 Inspiring Books for Sailors
  • 17 Best Sailing Movies & Documentaries
  • 51 Inspiring Camping Quotes & Captions

Hungry for more sailing inspiration?

Check out our lists of sailing movies, songs, books, and more to inspire this lifestyle.

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Best Sailing Quotes to Live By

Morgan, the founder of The Home That Roams, has been living nomadically for over five years. She began her journey traveling across the U.S. in a motorhome and cruising on a liveaboard sailing catamaran. Currently, she lives full-time in a travel trailer, sharing resources on RV living and boat life to help others downsize their lives and thrive in an alternative lifestyle.

Id rather be lost at sea then found at work…..Anon.

I can definitely relate to this one!

The cost of good navigation is constant vigilance.

All sailors of all sorts are more or less capricious and unreliable. They live in the varying outer weather and inhale its fickleness – and when retained for any object remote and blank in the pursuit, however promissory of life and passion in the end, it is above all things requisite that temporary interests and employments should intervene to hold them healthily suspended for the final dash. – Herman Melville, Moby Dick

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JokoJokes Funny Jokes

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Yacht Jokes

42 yacht jokes and hilarious yacht puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about yacht that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a laugh? Check out this collection of jokes about the luxuries of yacht club life and the travails of being a yacht captain! Perfect for anyone who is a fan of yacht rock and the yacht club commodore lifestyle.

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Funniest Yacht Short Jokes

Short yacht jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The yacht humour may include short boat jokes also.

  • I like my women like I like my champagne 13 years old and smashed over the bow of my yacht
  • I saw an advert in the paper Yacht for sale . As if people dont know what a yacht is for.
  • I've started my own buisness building model yachts in my attic during lockdown. Sales are going through the roof. (I'll take my things and leave now..)
  • They say money doesn't buy happiness but money could buy me some yachts and that would at least give me some *fleet*ing joy
  • Two people are on a yacht The man says: "what a beautiful yakt" She replies: "the 'C' is silent" He says: "yes, tranquil isn't it"
  • How could the footwear exec afford a mansion, a yacht, and a private jet? He was on a real shoestring budget.
  • I Started A New Business Making Yachts In My Attic This Year The sails are going through the roof
  • My buddies own a yacht together that they keep on the French Riviera. They have such a beautiful France ship.
  • After only a week of dating my girlfriend broke up with me because she doesn't like my comparisons... I feel worst than a turkey sandwich on a yacht.
  • As soon as the stay at home order is lifted... I'm going to turn in all my bottle returns and buy a yacht

Share These Yacht Jokes With Friends

Which yacht one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with yacht? I can suggest the ones about speedboat and fishing boat.

  • What is a Russian oligarch's least favorite parlor game? Yacht seize!
  • I just gambled the family boat away. It cost me a yacht
  • Why are yachts and ships so scary? Because they're for boating.
  • Most billionaires are really just rounded up millionaires. The haves and the have yachts.
  • Life is getting tough for Russian oligarchs It's gonna cost them a yacht
  • I started a yacht business in the attic. Sails are through the roof
  • I know what I am going to name my first yacht Z. I can't wait to be a dad
  • What was the yacht doing while it played heavy metal music? Dokken
  • What did the little boat say to the yacht? Can I interest you in a little row-mance.
  • Why wouldn't the narcissist buy a yacht? He couldn't see himself in sails.
  • If you own a Big Yacht... ...You probably have a little dinghy.
  • What game do antisemitic rich people like to play? Yacht-zi.
  • What do you call five yachts? YAHTZEE!
  • I can't believe how expensive boats are. It's a yacht.
  • What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts? Shark absorbers.

Yacht joke

Related Comedy Topics

  • fishing boat
  • paddle boat
  • sailing captain
  • pirate ship
  • cruise ships
  • private jet

Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Yacht Jokes and Friends

What funny jokes about yacht you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sailing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make yacht pranks.

Anybody interested in a free ride in a helicopter for 4 people? I'm still looking for 2 more adults to join me and my wife.

We leave early Saturday morning (Feb 6th) from New York and will fly to Boston , where we will have breakfast, then have lunch on a friend's yacht. Then we'll do a flight along the coast, up to Cape Elizabeth returning to Boston for dinner, then fly back home. If interested, please message me. Preferably someone with a helicopter and yacht, otherwise we can't go.

A taxi driver and a priest go to heaven.

Both appear at roughly the same time at the pearly gates. The priest is given some wine and cheese. The taxi driver is given a yacht, a boat, a mansion and a box of diamonds. The priest looks at St. Peter and says: "I was a priest for many years but all I get is a little house and some food. This guy gets all this stuff and he drove a taxi." St. Peter says "Yes, but we go by results. When you gave sermons people slept, when he drove people prayed."

Four men are at a bar bragging about how successful their sons are

One says"my son is a successful brick layer and he bought his friend a Lamborghini just because"...the second man says"my friend is a successful real estate agent and he bought his friend a yacht just because"the third man says"my son is a great lawyer and he bought his friend a mansion just because"....their was a minute of silence and the second man asks the fourth man what his son does ...the fourth man replies"he's a gay stripper"..the third man says"oh you must be ashamed I'm sorry"which the fourth man says"not really his three boyfriends bought him a Lamborghini,a yacht,and a mansion just because"

A man knows his marraige is on the rocks and wants to buy a grand gift for his wife...

He offers to buy her a Ferrari but she says no, he offers to get her a massive diamond ring but she declines, he asks her if she wants a huge yacht but she again turns him down. Exasperated, he says 'well what *do* you want?' to which she replies 'a divorce!', the guy goes deathly pale and whimpers 'I wasn't planning on spending *that* much'.

A Ukrainian sailor was drilling holes in a Russian oligarch's yacht...

A police officer approaches the sailor and asks him what he is doing. The sailor puts down the drill and says, "Oh, me? Uhhhm... as a matter of fact, I am here to bless the ship." The police officer looks skeptical, "You're here to bless the ship?" "Yes, that's right! I am making it very holy."

A man was out at sea celebrating buying a new Yacht with his girlfriend.

Man (raising a glass of champagne) : To our new "YAKT". Girlfriend : The 'c' is silent, honey. Man : (staring out at the horizon) : Yes it's very tranquil, you're right.

Morris had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Morris' Last Will and Testament.

Morris had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Morris' Last Will and Testament. "To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 150 acres of land, and 1 million dollars. To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the new Jaguar. To my daughter Shirley, I leave my yacht and $250,000. And to my brother-in-law Aaron, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my treadmill."

What did the p**...-shaped potato name his yacht?

The S.S. Dictatorship.

4 Guys walk into a bar and get on the subject of their successful sons...

...The first man says My son's so successful he bought his friend a Ferrari. That's cool, the second man says but my son is so successful he bought his friend a private jet. The third guy says That's pretty nice of them but my son bought his friend a deluxe yacht. The third guy turns to the fourth and says what does your son do for a living? The fourth man says my son is a gay stripper. You must be disappointed the third man said. No, I'm proud of him, he has already gotten a Ferrari, a private jet and a deluxe yacht.

A boss and his two workers had a genie appear before them...

The genie in his traditional style offered three wishes to them, so they decided to split the three wishes amongst them. The first worker said: "I wish for a party yacht with hundreds of beautiful girls crawling all over me." p**..., and he was gone. Seeing this, the second worker eagerly said: "I wish for a castle with hundreds of staff and a limitless credit card." p**..., and he too was gone. Scratching his stubble, the boss sighed. "I want those two g**... loafers back in the office before lunch break ends!"

No such thing as a free yatch [Long]

A salesman talked my uncle into buying 10,000 personalized pens for his business with the promise that 
he would be eligible to win a 32-foot yacht. A born gambler, my uncle agreed. Well, he won, and a few weeks after the pens arrived, his prize showed up: a 12-inch plastic yacht with 
32 plastic feet glued to the bottom.

A rich, dumb Husband and wife are taking their first trip on their new Yacht.

They have sailed far from the shore, and the two are sitting in chairs, looking out towards the water. "Gee, I just love this new Yakt!" The man says. "Erm... Honey, the "c" is silent." His wife responds. The man takes a sip from a tall glass, before responding "you're right, it's very tranquil."

Trump invites the Pope on his yacht...

The Popes hat blows off into the ocean so the Swiss guard and the secret service jump is trying to recover it but the current kept them away. So Trump says "I got it", and jumps overboard and walks across the water retrieves the hat and brings it back to the Pope. CNN's headline the next day was "Trump Can't Swim!"

I've never gone sailing before, but I want to sail around the world one day...

I have a yacht to learn before my trip.

Yacht joke, I've never gone sailing before, but I want to sail around the world one day...

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Below Deck: 17 of the most memorable one-liners from Captain Lee

Captain Lee

Below Deck OG Captain, Lee Rosbach, referred to as Captain Lee gives viewers a level of gruff charisma that is unmatched by any reality television star, and fans love him for that.

Captain Lee’s character is swimming with entertainment value between his quick wit and uncanny ability to never sugar coat things all while taking care of business.

Known to have both compassion and an iron fist, Captain Lee makes sure that all his crew respect the boat and themselves on and off charter during the yachting season.

Born in landlocked Michigan in 1949, Captain Lee got his captain’s license when he was 35 and left his career in the restaurant business to pursue yachting. Captain Lee has been married to his wife Mary Ann for over 45 years and she is entirely supportive of his career at sea.

Over the course of the 8 Seasons, renewed for a 9th on October 25, 2021, Captain Lee has dropped some fantastic one-liners that are not only memorable in a maritime sense but in any sense.

This list of 17 Captain Lee quotes captures his most unforgettable phrases and punch lines aimed to keep the crew in line and comment on the ridiculousness of some of the situations in the yachting world.

1. “I would rather drag my d**k through ten miles of broken whiskey bottles than to have those a******s on my boat again”

Captain Lee

If you search quotes by Captain Lee on the internet, undoubtedly this expression will be one of the first to pop up. The creativeness of the phrase and mental picture it paints solidifies it as a top quote from “The Stud of the Sea.”

This magnificent expression came about when some awful charter guests got off the boat and Captain Lee could speak his mind.

2. “I’m madder than a pissed-on chicken”

Captain Lee

Nothing makes Captain Lee angrier faster than when his deck crew is being incompetent. To that end, when a docking gets messed up that could cost the boat a lot of money and put Captain Lee’s reputation at stake, he gets fired up and that’s where this expression was born.

3. “The pucker effect is so strong that you couldn’t drive a straight pin up my ass with a 10 pound sledgehammer”

Captain Lee

This is the kind of phrase that makes viewers rewind their TVs to see if they heard him right.

It’s hard to say if this calculated statement originated somewhere or if it is something that Captain Lee developed himself, either way, it is quote gold and a highly memorable thing he said while angry.

4. “A deckhand with only one good arm is about as useful as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest”

Captain Lee

Captain Lee is always sensitive to his crew members getting hurt and follows proper procedure when accidents or injuries do happen, but that doesn’t mean he won’t make fun of them.

If a crew member is unable to perform their job duties while on the ship due to injuries, Captain Lee has the responsibility to send them packing. This expression dictates his exact school of thought on having to let someone go under those circumstances.

5. “I’ve never seen such a collective group of f*****g idiots in my life”

Captain Lee

Captain Lee loves to throw around the word idiot , but viewers got a special treat when he pieced together this verbal assault.

When more than one person is messing up on the crew to the point where it becomes detrimental to the strength of the boat Captain Lee’s pissed-off side comes out and he delivers sweeping statements like this one.

6. “I’m gonna eat someone’s ass for dinner”

Captain Lee

This off-the-cuff statement from Captain Lee came when his entire crew on Season 8 pissed him off and he was storming off to deal with the problem.

Captain Lee dropped the comment innocently and most likely did not understand the modern connotation of the expression which makes what he said all that much more hilarious.

7. “Her mouth wrote a check her ass couldn’t cash”

Captain Lee

Captain Lee is very critical of sass, overindulgence, and poor work ethic, all of which had come together when he delivered this brilliant one-liner.

When crew members talk a big game but end up being too big for their britches Captain Lee loves to rub salt in the wound with his assessment of the situation.

8. “Not one swinging d**k on board”

Captain Lee

This wonderful line was born when Captain Lee stumbled upon an overflowing jacuzzi on the yacht while no one was around.

Captain Lee does not like it when stupid mistakes are made or when his crew members are conveniently hard to find to fix their mistakes.

While Captain Lee has no problem taking matters into his own hands and doing the work himself, he will make it known when his crew is absent to witness the fallout from their mistakes.

9. “Screwed the pooch”

Captain Lee

Captain Lee throws this phrase out a lot and uses it as his go-to statement for when the crew has messed something up.

One of the more famous uses of the word from Captain Lee came when he was at his wits’ end. He said, “We’ve screwed the pooch so many times we should have a litter of puppies running around.”

10. “Dump truck mouth overloading your wheelbarrow behind”

Captain Lee

Similar to, “Her mouth wrote a check her ass couldn’t cash”, this quote takes it to another level.

When the crew can’t perform to the level they should or the level they said they could perform at, that is when they should be worried about Captain Lee’s words for them.

11.”If your tit’s in the wringer it’s because you put it there”

Captain Lee

Captain Lee is a big promoter of taking responsibility. While he is usually willing to give his crew second and sometimes third chances, he will still hold them accountable for their faults.

This expression is the captain’s way of placing the blame where it belongs and hoping the person takes responsibility.

12. “They better give their souls to Jesus cause their asses belong to me”

Captain Lee

Captain Lee runs a tight ship during the charter season and wants his crew to uphold the values of the boat on and off the charter. When that doesn’t happen, Captain Lee takes matters into his own hands.

This original and head-scratching expression depicts the captain’s feelings when someone messes up or embarrasses the boat.

Often times when the crew goes off the dock wild and outrageous things happen. Captain Lee doesn’t care about the types of things as long as it doesn’t affect the working of the boat. If it does, then the crew has to be worried about what the captain will say or do.

13. “Jesus. They could f**k up a two car funeral.”

Captain Lee

Captain Lee dropped this quote when he was referencing his team’s poor performance. He loves to come up with creative ways to let people know that they have messed up.

It’s hard to say whether this expression originated somewhere else, but Captain Lee has no doubt brought it into the mainstream.

14. “Suck it up creampuff”

Captain Lee

This declaration of Captain Lee has several variations such as, “Suck it up, buttercup” and “Suck it up, cupcake.”

He uses the expression a lot when the crew starts to complain about the job that they signed up for. He has a very short fuse for complaints and when the crew plays the blame game and that is often when he uses these phrases.

15. “I’d rather have someone pull me through a knothole by my d**k than have Mr. Lit Dickery on board again”

yacht one liners

While Captain Lee keeps it extremely professional in front of the guests and makes sure that they are the top priority, he still has things to say behind their backs when they are being outlandish or awful.

This assertion came out when the captain was really rubbed the wrong way by a group of ridiculous guests who he never wants to host again.

16. “It really wrinkles my ass”

Captain Lee

When Captain Lee is disgruntled he comes up with the most original sayings and this one takes the cake for painting an unpleasant picture.

Captain Lee has a wide array of terminology he uses when he is upset because he is upset regularly and this idiom puts his mood into verbal form.

17. “We’ve gone through more deckhands than a condom salesman in a w***e house”

Captain Lee

This phrase speaks for itself. It becomes extremely problematic when the deck team unravels more than once and replacements have to be sent in, as was the case on the season he said this gem in.

Below Deck Season 9 premieres on Monday, October 25 at 9/8c on Bravo.

guest

32 Absolutely Ridiculous Rodney Dangerfield One-Liners

These jokes earned our respect.

Rodney Dangerfield performing stand-up

Rodney Dangerfield used to claim that, all his life, he never got any respect at all. Well, I guess you can call us the exception, because the countless one-liners that the stand -up icon conceived are absolutely nothing short of comedy gold as far as we are concerned. The following are some of our favorite examples of the late comedian’s best and most uproarious jokes that he shared from the stage and in the movies.

Rodney Dangerfield on The Tonight Show

"I Was So Poor, My Rich Aunt Died; In The Will, I Owed Her $20"

The key to many of Rodney Dangerfield’s best one-liners is a punchline that exaggerates the situation of the set-up as a complete 180 of the more realistic outcome. Thus, in this bit, instead of receiving an inheritance from a recently deceased relative, she bills him.

Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack

"Hey Baby, You Must've Been Something Before Electricity"

Dangerfield’s character, Al Czervik, is responsible for many of the funniest lines from Caddyshack . For instance, the way he greets Judge Smails’ wife is an absolute stroke of brilliance in crafting a comment that aims to subtly compliment and overtly insult a person at the same time.

Rodney Dangerfield performing stand-up

"My Psychiatrist Told Me I'm Going Crazy. I Said, 'If You Don't Mind, I'd Like A Second Opinion.' He Said, 'All Right. You're Ugly, Too’” 

A recurring topic in Dangerfield’s act was his shrink who, in this bit, takes the otherwise valuable characteristic of honesty a step too far with him. To be fair, however, the doctor did give the comic what he asked for when he a requested a “ second opinion.”

Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School

"I Mean, The High School I Went To, They Asked A Kid To Prove The Law Of Gravity, He Threw The Teacher Out The Window!"

In most of Dangerfield’s movies, his dialogue consists almost entirely of the kind of one-liners you would hear in his stand-up performances. For instance, one of the funniest lines from 1986’s Back to School — which apparently had some influence on Marvel’s Captain America: Civil War — imagines a high school science experiment gone horribly wrong.

Rodney Dangerfield performing stand-up

"I'll Tell Ya, My Whole Life, All I Know Is Rejection. When I Was A Kid, My Yo-Yo: It Never Came Back" 

This is meant to be nothing more than Dangerfield’s clever way of illustrating the feeling that comes from being rejected. However, we cannot help but imagine that this bit hits close to home for some children who never learned how to toss a yo-yo properly.

Rodney Dangerfield in Easy Money

"Yeah, Well You Were The Inspiration For Twin Beds!"

Rodney Dangerfield’s first leading cinematic role was in one of the funniest comedies about money , 1983’s Easy Money (which he also co-wrote), in which his character, Monty Capuletti, must give up his vices in order to inherit a grand fortune from his mother-in-law. Speaking of, when she comes to visit and spews an overly critical tirade against his behaviors, he follows with an insult that puts all of hers to bed .

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Rodney Dangerfield performing stand-up

"Last Week, I Told My Kid, 'Be Honest. Always Be Honest.’ He Said, ‘All Right. I'm Not Your Kid'"

This quip could be interpreted one of two ways. On one hand, it would normally be devastating for a child to discover their father is not their real parent. On the other, Dangerfield’s son could just be making something up to avoid the obligation of being honest.

Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School

"Good Teacher. He Really Seems To Care. About What, I Have No Idea"

One of the classes taken by Dangerfield’s Back to School character, Thornton Melon — who also throws a really cool party at Grand Lakes University — is Contemporary American History, taught by Professor Turgeson (Sam Kinison), who takes his job a little too seriously by Thornton’s observation. His quip over his teacher’s overzealousness follows an epic verbal standoff regarding the Vietnam War between two of comedy’s most celebrated icons.

Rodney Dangerfield performing stand-up

"I Know How To Make A Girl Say, 'Yes.' I Ask Her, 'Am I Bothering You?'"

When you really think about it, this quip could serve as some of the best advice for talking to women that a man could receive.

Rodney Dangerfield performing stand-up on The Tonight Show

"My Wife Can't Do Nothin' Right. She Can't Cook... I Mean, How Can Toast Have Bones?" 

Dangerfield’s spouse took the brunt of many one-liners that specifically targeted her culinary skills. This one suggesting that animal remains could be found in the toasted bread that she serves is easily among the more uproarious.

Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack

"The Last Time I Saw A Mouth Like That, It Had A Hook In It" 

What makes Caddyshack one of the all-time greatest movies about golf does not necessarily have anything to do with its depiction of said sport. However, its lasting legacy has a lot to do with brilliant, yet simple, one-liners such as this one, courtesy of Rodney Dangerfield as the lovably obnoxious Al Czervik.

Rodney Dangerfield performing stand-up

"I'll Tell Ya, My Kid: He Drives Me Nuts. For Three Years Now, He Goes To A Private School. He Won't Tell Me Where It Is!"

At first, it almost sounds like Rodney’s grievance here is that his child’s private school costs him too much. To learn that the school’s “private” state really refers to the comic’s ability to find it is an inspired twist.

Rodney Dangerfield performing stand-up

"Last Week, I Looked Up My Family Tree. Two Dogs Were Using It!" 

It would be quite to disappointing if one’s biological lineage could be manifested into an actual plant that a canine ended up marking their territory on. Fittingly, Dangerfield would reuse this bit in the animated film, Rover Dangerfield , in which he voices his own furry alter ego.

Rodney Dangerfield in Meet Wally Sparks

"Siskel And Ebert Caught My Show. They Gave Me One Finger Up" 

In 1997’s Meet Wally Sparks , Rodney Dangerfield plays a tabloid reporter searching for a scoop that could attract more viewers to his TV show, which he jokes is not a favorite of Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert . Considering we could not find a review from the famed film critics , it might be safe to assume that they did not bother with this comedy in real life.

Rodney Dangerfield on Late Night with Conan O'Brien

"This Kid Imitates Everything. That's Why We Got Rid Of The Dog" 

Some of Rodney Dangerfield’s best one-liners detail trouble with his children, while others involve his pet. This joke combines the two in a manner that forces you conjure some unsettling imagery.

Rodney Dangerfield performing stand-up

"My Wife Cracked Up The Car Again... She Told Me She Would Make A U-Turn. I'll Tell Ya, The Letter She Made You'll Never Find In The Alphabet"

We imagine there are people out there who can empathize with Dangerfield’s wife in this bit. In some situations, making a U-turn is not as easy as it is made out to be.

Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School

"Oh, We Were Doomed From The Start. I'm An Earth Sign. She's A Water Sign. Together, We Made Mud" 

In Back to School , Thornton falls in love with his English professor, Dr. Diane Turner (Diane Turner), and later takes her to dinner. During the meal, he discusses with her his past troubles with romance in Dangerfield’s signature comedic style.

Andy Kaufman and Rodney Dangerfield in The Rodney Dangerfield Special: I Can't Take It No More

"My Doctor, He Don't Help Either. He Told Me To Run Five Miles A Day For Two Weeks. I Called Him Up. I Said, 'Doc, I'm 70 Miles From My House'" 

A recurring character in Dangerfield’s act was his bumbling doctor, Vinnie Boombatz (who was once portrayed by Andy Kaufman in a 1983 TV special called I Can’t Take It No More ). However, in some cases, it is Rodney’s misunderstanding of the doc’s orders that ends up causing the comic trouble, such as in this joke.

Rodney Dangerfield in Rover Dangerfield

“Hey, I'm Smart. When I Was Paper Trained I Learned How To Read It, Too"  

We should have known that it was only a matter of time before the comedian decided to put himself in the shoes (or paws, we should say) of the dogs he included in many of his jokes. He voiced the title role of 1991’s Rover Dangerfield (which he also wrote), who claims to be a pooch of many talents, as seen here.

Rodney Dangerfield performing stand-up

"I Know I'm Ugly. I Stuck My Head Out The Window, Got Arrested For Mooning" 

We have a lot of respect for comics who incorporate a self-effacing brand of humor into their act and few poked fun at themselves harder than Rodney Dangerfield. The man targeted his looks quite a few times on stage, but his example — in which he compares the appearance of his face to his rear end — is a prime gut-buster.

Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack

“I’ll Tell Ya, This Steak Still Has Marks From Where The Jockey Was Hitting It" 

Many of Rodney Dangerfield’s best moments in Caddyshack can be found in the same scene: the annual Fourth of July Banquet, at which Al Czervik takes every opportunity to make a joke at someone’s expense. The chef gets the worst of it with multiple jabs at the event’s food, including the steak.

Rodney Dangerfield performing stand-up

"Last Week, My House Was On Fire. My Wife Told The Kids, 'Be Quiet. You'll Wake Up Daddy’” 

You would assume Dangerfield had a terrible home life if you took all of his jokes about his family as factual. This stand-up bit, suggesting that the comedian’s wife planned to murder him by burning their home down, is one of his best self-effacing roasts related to the topic.

Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School

"I Think I'm Attracted To Teachers. Yeah, I Took Out An English Teacher. That Didn't Work Out At All. I Sent Her A Love Letter... She Corrected It!"  

When Thornton falls for Dr. Diane Turner in Back to School , he reveals this is not the first time some in the educational field taught him a lesson about love. We imagine that anyone who has made a living out of teaching grammar would have a hard time not pointing out flaws in even the sweetest messages from a romantic suitor.

Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack

"Oh, This Is The Worst-Looking Hat I Ever Saw. What, When You Buy A Hat Like This, I Bet You Get A Free Bowl Of Soup, Huh?" 

The average person would not call someone like Al Czervik from Caddyshack the best judge of fashion sense, but he seems to have some pretty strong opinions about headwear — in particular a rainbow-striped fedora he finds at the golf shop. Little does he realize, as he voices his brutal opinion of it, that the exact same hat is being worn just a few feet away by Judge Smails (Ted Knight), to whom he sarcastically assures that he pulls it off just fine.

Rodney Dangerfield performing stand-up

"My Wedding Day, That Was A Beauty. I Went To Put The Ring On. She Gave Me The Wrong Finger" 

Traditionally, a bride or groom’s wedding ring is placed by the other onto the third finger from their thumb on their left hand. Yet, it seems that Dangerfield’s spouse held out another finger indicating that she did not want to accept the ring in the first place. What tough luck, huh?

Rodney Dangerfield performing stand-up

"One Time I Saw Him, He Gave Me Sleeping Pills. He Told Me To Take Them Whenever I Wake Up" 

From the way Dangerfield illustrates his relationship with his doctor, Vinnie Boombatz, it is hard to tell if the physician is simply absent-minded, or if he really has it out for his patient. This stand-up bit seems to suggest the latter.

Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack

"Fore!... I Should Have Yelled, 'Two!'" 

Al Czervik manages to be just a mere annoyance to Judge Smails throughout one of the best movies of the 1980s , Caddyshack , save the moment he actually causes him physical pain. The businessman does not call out “Fore!” soon enough for Smails to stop his golfball from hitting him right in the crotch — prompting Czervik’s clever put down.

Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School

"The Football Team At My High School, They Were Tough. After They Sacked The Quarterback, They Went After His Family" 

Even in high school, it certainly pays to have a football team that is not afraid to get rough to secure a win. However, in Back to School , the team from Thornton Melon’s old school — much like many of the characters in Dangerfield’s stand-up jokes — took things a little too far by his account.

Rodney Dangerfield performing stand-up

"I Was Poor. Once On My Birthday, My Old Man, He Showed Me A Picture Of A Cake. I Sat There All Day Trying To Blow Out The Candles" 

Dangerfield’s economic status while growing up also comes up a number of times in his stand-up. One classic example is when his father could only afford a cake that young Rodney could only look at, but boy did he try to make a wish on it, anyway.

Rodney Dangerfield in Rover Dangerfield

"I Tell Ya, The Way I See It, You Probably Won't Be Around After Christmas" 

The titular dog from Rover Dangerfield cannot help but tell things like they are when speaking to a turkey from the rural farm he finds himself living on. At least he has the courtesy to predict that his fowl friend will make it past Thanksgiving.

Rodney Dangerfield on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

"My Old Man, He Saw A Sign That Said, 'Drink Canada Dry.' He Went Up There" 

In one of his last appearances on The Tonight Show , Rodney Dangerfield riffed on a bunch of topics with then-host Jay Leno , including his father’s vices. According to this one-liner, the “old man’s” attachment to the bottle was so strong, he mistook a ginger ale ad for a challenge.

Rodney Dangerfield performing stand-up

"I Got A Dog. He Tries To Run The Whole House. The Other Night He Started Trouble. He Went Over To The Front Door, He Started To Bark. I Went Over, I Opened The Front Door. The Dog Don't Wanna Go Out. He Wanted Me To Leave"

They say that a dog is man’s best friend, but this man’s pet asserts himself as more of a foe in this stand-up bit. The furball does not even bother trying to hide his animosity toward his owner here.

Until his passing in 2004 at the age of 82, Rodney Dangerfield kept the laughs coming with a constant stream of winning one-liners like these.

Jason Wiese writes feature stories for CinemaBlend. His occupation results from years dreaming of a filmmaking career, settling on a "professional film fan" career, studying journalism at Lindenwood University in St. Charles, MO (where he served as Culture Editor for its student-run print and online publications), and a brief stint of reviewing movies for fun. He would later continue that side-hustle of film criticism on TikTok (@wiesewisdom), where he posts videos on a semi-weekly basis. Look for his name in almost any article about Batman.

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After several setbacks, Boeing will try again to launch its crewed Starliner on Saturday

The long-awaited launch will be the spacecraft's first crewed mission as boeing looks to become one of two companies approved to make routine trips to orbit on behalf of nasa..

yacht one liners

  • The Boeing Starliner is set to launch Saturday afternoon from Kennedy Space Center in Florida.
  • The mission has been delayed nearly a month due to an oxygen leak on the rocket and then a helium leak on part of the spacecraft.
  • The two NASA astronauts flying the commercial crew mission are Barry "Butch" Wilmore and Sunita "Suni" Williams.

The highly-anticipated first crewed mission of Boeing’s Starliner appears poised to finally take off on Saturday afternoon as the aeronautics company seeks to prove the spacecraft's capabilities to NASA.

A series of technical issues waylaid the launch of the CST-100 Starliner , which was initially fueled up and ready for liftoff on May 6 before the mission was scrubbed . The Starliner's crew, Barry "Butch" Wilmore and Sunita "Suni" Williams , were even aboard the capsule before they had no choice but to exit and head back to their quarters.

Wilmore and Williams, both former Navy pilots before they joined NASA, returned to Houston on May 10 to spend extra time with their families as mission engineers worked to fix the issues ailing Starliner.

The launch was delayed again later in May as a result of a helium leak from the capsule's propulsion system. But at long last, the spacecraft is apparently ready to head to the International Space Station for about a week before the crew returns to Earth.

Here's what to know about the launch and Starliner, which Boeing hopes will soon compete with Elon Musk's SpaceX capsule for NASA missions to low-Earth orbit.

Graphics: Starliner joins Dragon in expanding American space access

Why were past launches scrubbed, delayed?

The mission has been delayed nearly a month due first to an oxygen leak on the rocket and then a helium leak on part of the spacecraft.

The United Launch Alliance, which manufactured  the rocket , said in a statement that trouble with a valve in the rocket's upper stage prompted engineers to scrub the initial launch on May 6. Mission programmers initially requested a delay to May 17  to have time to replace a pressure regulation valve on the rocket's liquid oxygen tank,  NASA said.

The team was  able to replace the valve  and re-pressurize the system, but then engineers encountered another obstacle: a small helium leak in Starliner's service module. The issue required the launch date to be pushed back once again, according to an update  from Boeing.

Helium, which is not combustible or toxic, is used in spacecraft thruster systems to allow the thrusters to fire.

Crews investigated and created a workaround to ensure the safe return of astronauts even in the most extreme scenarios, Florida Today reported .

As of this week, NASA and the space station both decided to continue with the launch without repairing the helium leak.

While the fix would require replacing a patch only roughly the size of a button, it would be a complicated process for a leak that impacts only one of 28 thrusters, reported AFP.

"We can handle this particular leak if that leak rate were to grow even up to 100 times," said Steve Stich, manager of NASA's Commercial Crew Program, reported AFP. Instead, teams will simply monitor the leak upon launch.

What is the Boeing Starliner?

Starliner is intended to be a vehicle that can ferry astronauts to and from the International Space Station as NASA pivots to more partnerships with private industry .

As part of  NASA’s commercial crew program , Boeing was awarded $4.8 billion, while its competitor, SpaceX, was awarded $3.1 billion in 2014 to develop their respective spacecraft, Florida Today reported. Under NASA's more ambitious commercial lunar program, it's also  paid SpaceX $2.9 billion  to develop the first commercial human lander for the agency's Artemis moon missions and eventually trips to Mars.

SpaceX, whose Dragon spacecraft flew its first human mission in 2020, recently saw its Crew-7 return to Earth after nearly 200 days aboard the International Space Station. The eighth crew comprised of three NASA astronauts and one cosmonaut  launched on March 3 and docked on March 5 to  await the arrival of Boeing's Starliner  capsule.

The  Starliner was designed  to accommodate no more than seven passengers for missions to low-Earth orbit. For NASA, the capsule is intended to carry four astronauts along with a mix of cargo and other scientific instruments to and from the space station.

If the mission is a success, NASA will begin the final process of certifying Starliner and its systems for crewed rotation missions to the space station,  according to the U.S. space agency .

Who are the NASA astronauts crewing the Starliner?

The two NASA astronauts flying the commercial crew mission are  Barry "Butch" Wilmore and Sunita "Suni" Williams . Both are Navy test pilots who have flown in space twice, according to Florida Today, part of the USA TODAY Network.

◾ Williams , 58, is a former Naval test pilot with experience flying over 30 different aircraft. Selected as an astronaut in 1998, she has logged 322 days in space over two missions since her first flight in 2007.

◾ Wilmore , 61, is a retired Navy captain who completed 21 combat missions during Operation Desert Storm before joining NASA in 200. Since then, he has logged 178 days in space after his first trip to orbit in 2009.

Once the Starliner launches and reaches the International Space Station, the astronauts are scheduled to spend a little more than a week testing the spacecraft and its subsystems before they board the capsule for a return trip to Earth. The craft will then land in the American Southwest  using parachutes  that will slow it down to 4 mph before inflating large airbags.

How to watch the Boeing Starliner launch

Boeing and NASA are  targeting 12:25 p.m. EDT Saturday  for Starliner's launch from Kennedy Space Center in Florida. The capsule will fly to space on top of an Atlas V rocket manufactured by the United Launch Alliance.

NASA will provide live coverage  beginning at 8:15 a.m. EDT on N ASA+ , NASA Television, the  NASA app , the agency's  YouTube page  and its  website . A postlaunch news conference is also planned.

Expect more coverage when the Starliner is expected to dock at the forward-facing port of the International Space Station's Harmony module at approximately 1:50 p.m. Sunday.

Eric Lagatta covers breaking and trending news for USA TODAY. Reach him at [email protected]

Contributing: Mary Walrath-Holdridge, USA TODAY

The Key Points at the top of this article were created with the assistance of Artificial Intelligence (AI) and reviewed by a journalist before publication. No other parts of the article were generated using AI. Learn more .

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Full recap of Friday and Saturday at the Monaco Grand Prix

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  • Leclerc claims pole ahead of Piastri, Sainz & Norris
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Patrick Iversen

Stewards: No further action for Hülkenberg

Stewards: No further action for Hülkenberg

Mark Thompson/Getty Images

After meeting with stewards, Haas driver Nico Hülkenberg has also been cleared of allegations he impeded during qualifying. Early in the session, Alpine driver Esteban Ocon radioed that the Haas driver had blocked him in Turn 3. Both cars were having issues with radio communications, hindering Hülkenberg from knowing Ocon was approaching. Here's more from the stewards:

"The team had attempted to warn Car 27 of the arrival of Car 31 on a fast lap but the radio communication system was not working reliably and the driver of Car 27 did not receive the messages. We heard the radio messages from the team to the driver but it appears that those messages did not go through to the car.

The driver of Car 31 confirmed that he too had issues with the communication system. We had similar reports of intermittent radio messages from another team today.

The driver of Car 31 acknowledged that, because the entry of Turn 3 is blind, the driver of Car 27 could not have known of his approach without the benefit of a radio warning. He also felt that, notwithstanding the fact that he caught Car 27, he was not materially impacted during that lap by Car 27 because Car 27 picked up the pace at Turn 4.

Given that the team had attempted to warn their driver appropriately of the arrival of Car 31; in the light of the technical issues with the radio communications; and the fact that the driver of Car 31 said that he was not materially impacted, we took no further action."

Stewards: No further action for Sainz

Stewards: No further action for Sainz

Getty Images

After both drivers met with the race stewards, Carlos Sainz will not be penalized for allegedly impeding Alex Albon during qualifying at Monaco earlier today. Sainz admitted to stewards that he knew Albon was coming on a push lap, but didn't have enough room at the exit of Turn 16 to give the Williams driver proper space. The stewards' judgment reads:

"The driver of Car 55 (Sainz) stated on hindsight that he could perhaps have gone off the track and thereby given Car 23 (Albon) more room but felt that he did not unnecessarily impede Car 23 as he took the necessary steps on the track to give him space.

The driver of Car 23 was able to complete his push lap and although he may have lost a tenth and a half in terms of time and was therefore affected, he said it was, in his mind, "grey" as to whether or not he was unnecessarily impeded by Car 55. He did not think this was a clear case of impeding. He acknowledged that the part of the circuit was particularly difficult at it is a sequence of blind corners and that Car 55 could not have seen Car 23 approaching any sooner.

In the light of the above, we took no further action."

Madeline Coleman

Haas cars fail a technical check, summoned by stewards

Haas cars fail a technical check, summoned by stewards

According to a report from Jo Bauer, the FIA Formula One Technical Delegate, "The uppermost rear wing element adjustable positions were checked on car numbers 20 and 27. The LHS and RHS outermost area of the of the adjustable elements were exceeding the maximum allowed 85mm on both cars.”

The matter was referred to the stewards as it was not in compliance. If the stewards decide to issue a penalty, both Kevin Magnussen and Nico Hülkenberg will be excluded from qualifying.

No surprises for Verstappen, despite his difficult Red Bull

No surprises for Verstappen, despite his difficult Red Bull

Max Verstappen could have qualified higher had he not clunked a barrier on his final shot at pole in Q3. But that wasn’t so much a case of being unfortunate, as a result of his Red Bull's lack of grip.

And he doesn't expect to enjoy his race day either starting P6.

💬 "It's not something that came as a surprise to me because I knew our limitations already, coming into this weekend. But it's been bad. I can't take any curbs and it honestly feels like I'm driving a go-kart with no suspension and no damping.

“I felt really comfortable in the high-speed corners. At least that was enjoyable. But the low speed we're just losing too much.

"Looking at tomorrow, I mean, if it's just a straightforward race then there's not that much you can do. We don't have the fastest car, so it's not like we qualified out of position. We'll see what happens."

Alex Davies

You’re on a boat!

You’re on a boat!

Earlier this week, while Pat looked at how the 99 per cent can enjoy the Monaco Grand Prix, I did a bit of digging into how the ultra-rich do it, particularly those who want to watch from the water.

If you’ve got your own yacht, expect to cough up about $22,000 to park it in the harbor for the Thursday to Monday stretch. And that’s only if you’ve got a piddling 80-footer. The Monaco Yacht Club lists prices for boats up to about 230 feet — that would be $92,240, merci beaucoup. But hey, at least:

  • there’s a high correlation between yacht owners and people who can afford such prices; and
  • that parking spot includes access for two people to the marina’s clubhouse between Friday and Sunday.

If you don’t own a yacht but want to be on one, fear not: multiple outfits offer viewing packages that should scratch your itch. Irvine Consultancy hosts a Sunday post-race yacht party for 750 € ($814) that includes a “VIP buffet” and open bar (no liquor).

Senate Grand Prix’s “Surf and Turf” package includes viewing from various land-based points on Friday and Saturday, and access to a triple-decker yacht for Sunday’s race. Prices start at $8,540 per person, and include a three-night hotel stay, lunch, drinks, and souvenir lanyard.

You can read and rub your eyes more with the link below.

Monaco GP: How to enjoy F1’s most glamorous race weekend on the cheap

Monaco GP: How to enjoy F1’s most glamorous race weekend on the cheap

Sainz and Hülkenberg under investigation for impeding

A few drivers are meeting with race stewards about alleged impeding incidents during qualifying that could change the race order. We'll hear rulings within the hour, most likely.

  • Nico Hülkenberg (P12) will meet with stewards about allegedly impeding Esteban Ocon (P11) in Turn 3.
  • Carlos Sainz (P3) will meet with stewards about allegedly impeding Alex Albon (P9) in Turn 15. Albon was also summoned to discuss the incident, as is standard protocol.

Obviously either could affect the grid for tomorrow's grand prix.

A pleasant surprise from McLaren for Stella

A pleasant surprise from McLaren for Stella

McLaren team principal Andrea Stella was happy with his team's Saturday, as Oscar Piastri and Lando Norris pocketed P2 and P4 respectively on the provisional grid.

Each is behind a Ferrari, while ahead of everyone else as they prepare for the 2024 Monaco Grand Prix. Here's Stella:

💬 "This is above where we hoped to be because at times, during qualifying as well, we saw many teams had the potential to be up for the first couple of rows of the grid.

"For Lando, the day was actually decided by the mechanics and the team responding in time to the problem we had with part of the advertising ended up in the under the car."

It's been a good period for McLaren. Let's see what the lean, mean yellow and green machines can do from those starting slots tomorrow.

Luke Smith

Leclerc’s new engineer is way more of a chatterbox

Charles Leclerc got a new race engineer as of the last race at Imola, with Bryan Bozzi taking over from Xevi Marcos Padros, and I could hear a huge difference in their interactions during qualifying.

Bozzi is far chattier on the radio, particularly warming up for qualifying laps, providing information on the gaps between the cars and the tire usage.

Caption competition: The one with Leclerc & Piastri

Caption competition: The one with Leclerc & Piastri

Here's one for you caption competition fans out there. No prizes I'm afraid, short of our enduring respect, but our inbox is open for all your suggestions over this one involving Charles Leclerc and Oscar Piastri.

Ping them in an email to: [email protected]

Alonso blames traffic for Q1 exit

Alonso blames traffic for Q1 exit

It felt a little more unfortunate than anything for Fernando Alonso , who also exited Q1 in his Aston Martin. Here's the Spaniard's reaction from the media pen:

💬 “A lot of traffic. That was a killer for our qualifying. I lost three-tenths with a car just in front. And then another two tenths in the last corner. There were three cars parked there. No one to blame. They cannot vanish. This is Monaco and the cars are very big.

"But yeah, we found ourselves in the wrong place at the wrong time today and this is very painful here in Monaco.

"It's going to be a parade of cars tomorrow, but we can do you it. We need to do the job on Saturday. We didn't manage it so we need to do better next time."

Perez not hopeful to his grand prix chances

Perez not hopeful to his grand prix chances

Monaco is not the place to botch your qualifying, so there's a little bit of extra sympathy due to Sergio Perez as his Red Bull sits P18 for tomorrow's grid. Here's how the Mexican reacted after the Q1 exit:

💬 “I got into traffic on my lap, enough to lose a couple of tenths. We didn’t hook it together and this is the result. It's quite a bad day for myself; there’s nothing we can hope for tomorrow.

“We had the pace to get through but like always, you have to put it together when you have the chance.”

Could Piastri notch his first win?

Could Piastri notch his first win?

Going into tomorrow’s race Leclerc is surely the favorite, but as the Ferrari driver noted qualifying isn’t quite everything in Monaco — and he’ll have the McLaren sophomore starting beside him on the front row.

Oscar Piastri has been knocking on the door lately, but has been held back by some rotten luck: a penalty bumped him off the front row at Imola last week, and an encounter with Sainz knocked him out of the running in Miami before that.

If he benefits from a clean race tomorrow, he’s got a really good shot at securing his maiden win, and McLaren’s second of 2024.

Leclerc: Qualifying isn’t everything in Monaco

Leclerc: Qualifying isn’t everything in Monaco

Charles Leclerc couldn’t hide his grin while speaking after taking pole position in Monaco. But he’s been here before.

This is his third Monaco pole in F1, repeating the feat from 2021 and 2022, yet he’s never finished his home race on the podium. He said:

💬 “Really, really happy about the lap. The excitement is so high, it feels really good. However, now I know more often than not in the past that qualifying is not everything.

“As much as it helps for Sunday’s race, we need to put everything together for Sunday. In the past years we didn’t manage to do so.”

The Q3 shootout and provisional top-10

Here's how Q3 finished in the end, and that sharp end of the grid for tomorrow's Monaco Grand Prix:

  • 1: LECLERC (FER) 1:10.270
  • 2: Piastri (MCL) 1:10.424
  • 3: Sainz (FER) 1:10.518
  • 4: Norris (MCL) 1:10.542
  • 5: Russell (MER) 1:10.543
  • 6: Verstappen (RBR) 1:10.567
  • 7: Hamilton (MER) 1:10.621
  • 8: Tsunoda (RB) 1:10.858
  • 9: Albon (WIL) 1:10.948
  • 10: Gasly (ALP) 1:11.311

Tall order ahead of Verstappen

Tall order ahead of Verstappen

So that's official then – if Max Verstappen is to win tomorrow, he'll be just the fourth driver to ever win Monaco starting outside the top five.

The odds are certainly against him.

A brilliant lap from Leclerc at the end

It was only a small improvement by Charles Leclerc , but enough to ensure he got pole ahead of Oscar Piastri.

He's now got the perfect chance to try and finally win on home soil in Monaco. A brilliant performance.

LECLERC CLAIMS POLE AT MONACO 🏁

LECLERC CLAIMS POLE AT MONACO 🏁

There it is! A 1:10.270 from Charles Leclerc 's Ferrari takes pole position for tomorrow's Monaco Grand Prix.

Q3: Into the final fight for pole

⏰ 10/12mins: The final two minutes. The final runs. Here's the current top three but that could - and probably will - all change:

  • 1: Leclerc (FER)
  • 2: Piastri (MCL)
  • 3: Russell (MER)

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This Luxe New Cruise Will Stop in 80 Destinations Around the World, From Fiji to Norway

Silversea's 149-day journey will begin in los angeles on january 8, 2027., rachel cormack.

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One of the smallest cruise ships in Silversea ’s fleet will carry out the line’s biggest global voyage.

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Silversea Silver Dawn Crusie Ship

“Garnered over 30 years of operations, our destination expertise will enable our guests to discover the very best experiences in ultra-luxury cruise travel,” Silversea president Bert Hernandez said in a statement.

Traditional Fijian architecture

Travelers will then cruise the Indian Ocean, visiting Bali, Semarang, Singapore, Colombo, the Maldives, Seychelles, Reunion, and Cape Town, to name but a few notable destinations. Highlights of this leg include a visit to the Great Barrier Reef, a sunset river cruise to Victoria Falls, a safari experience in South Africa, and a trip to the Vallée de Mai Nature Reserve on the island of Praslin.

Norway's dramatic fjords

Silversea says the accommodation in port has been selected to enhance the experience in each destination, with stays in destinations such as Honolulu, Cairns, Bordeaux, and more. You’ll also spend longer in port than any other World Cruise. Ship life won’t be bad, either. Guests can indulge in soothing wellness treatments and moreish culinary experiences as they discover the world.

Silversea will open an exclusive pre-sale for the Three Oceans World Cruise to Venetian Society members on June 20, while general sales will open on June 27 (with quotes available upon request).

Rachel Cormack is a digital editor at Robb Report. She cut her teeth writing for HuffPost, Concrete Playground, and several other online publications in Australia, before moving to New York at the…

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Ceo of mercedes-amg petronas f1 team toto wolff talks race cars and yachts.

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Anthony Capuano, President and CEO of Marriott International; Toto Wolff, CEO Of Mercedes AMG ... [+] Petronas F1 Team; Tina Edmundson, President, Luxury at Marriott International

Every Formula One Grand Prix has its unique offerings off the track – in Monaco, it’s superyachts. The anticipated race weekend gives visitors the chance to take a deep dive into the best of the Principality, from star-studded soirees to superyacht viewing parties. Every year, the marina is lined with around 100 boats, with many more at anchor. This year, one particular vessel stood out, Evrima . The first launch from the The Ritz-Carlton Yacht Collection , Evrima was chartered by Mercedes and used as a ‘floating hotel’ base for its team, partners and VIP guests, as well as special guests of Marriott International , with whom Mercedes partnered to create a special F1 experience for the race weekend.

While onboard during the Grand Prix, I met with Toto Wolff, CEO of the Mercedes-AMG Petronas F1 Team, to discuss details of the collaboration as well as the unique features of the much-loved – and feared – Monaco circuit.

Mercedes formula one car and super car onboard Evrima

What are your first impressions of Evrima?

Toto Wolff: I don't think I would go on a cruise ship, but this is something different. This is so much more of a private yacht with big dimensions. I understand now why friends of mine that have been on Evrima speak so highly about it. I'm also absolutely obsessed with details and I couldn't find anything wrong which, considering this is on the sea with salt and in sun, is spectacular.

Luxury hospitality goes hand-in-hand with Formula 1. Please talk us through the Mercedes collaboration with Evrima during the 2024 Monaco F1 Grand Prix.

What we have done as a team here with Ritz-Carlton and Marriott is believable. This is a new level of delivery and customer experience. Especially when you combine that with the things that we're doing in the port – we have 20 tenders shuttling in and out so whatever you feel like doing, whether it's going for a swim in Antibes or shopping or to the race track, you can do that.

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We tried to design a program that either allows you to chill on the boat and enjoy that experience or dive in and out of the crazy scene in Monte Carlo.

From our boat in the harbor, you’re on the track and you see the cars coming out of the tunnel super fast – more than 300km an hour – into a chicane where the cars jump a lot, and then acceleration. We’ve also got the apartment where you’re upstairs looking down on the main street, and the lodges which are opposite the garages.

How did basing the Mercedes team and guests onboard Evrima differ to your usual experience?

The setup we had before was to have rooms and suites in hotels all through Monaco where we’ve tried to place our guests. We have never organized a collective event with the most important people including our sponsors and partners in a single hotel before.

Do you like being able to consolidate it?

Yes, because there's special people here. The people that are invited onto the boat are the most important for our partners. It’s a good place to mingle and when you see the spaces, there’s a lot of opportunity to do whatever you like to from, from the gym to the pub, which our British team like.

Funny story. One of our big partners is a company called TeamViewer software and Oliver Steil the CEO is here with his wife and chief marketing officer. They own a big yacht themselves and he said to me, “if you had told me two years ago, I'm going on a cruise ship, I would have said, ‘not a foot I'm gonna put on a cruise ship, but coming here, it's not a cruise ship. The experience is like a big yacht’. So that guy has his yacht parked in the harbor for some of his guests, and he stays here and loves it.

For people who haven’t been to the Monaco F1 before, can you explain that’s so unique about the track and experience?

It's a weird race from a racer’s point of view. The drivers love it – Nigel Mansell once said ‘it's like flying a helicopter in a living room’. The skill needed is enormous, so for the drivers it’s great, but probably only for qualifying because the moment you slot in for the race, overtaking is very, very difficult. You can be five seconds off the pace which is huge, but you can’t overtake if the other guy doesn't want to. And if it rains, it can be spectacular.

Monaco is an outlier because it's so slow in the calendar. Monza is an outlier because it's so fast. You never develop a car specifically for this track. Then every race car has a bit of a DNA that even the engineers don't understand why a car likes a track or not. And our car doesn't like Monaco, so it is a difficult one. But we are generally on an upward trajectory. We've won eight times in a row and we've had two years of negative spell, but overall, we finished third and second, so it's not a disaster. It’s a super tough competition. In the years where we won the race, we were invited to the gala dinner with the Prince, who's a dear friend and a really nice person. I wish to be invited again.

Rachel Ingram

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    A thirsty sailor runs from his boat to the nearest bar and shouts to the bartender: "Give me twenty shots of your best scotch, quick!". The bartender pours out the shots, and the sailor drinks them as fast as he can. The bartender is very impressed and exclaims: "Wow. I never saw anybody drink that fast.".

  9. 85 Jokes About Boats

    It's a-boat time. This will be my lega-sea. Don't mean to just barge in here. Today is knot too bad. I'm ferry impressed by this sea day. Don't be a pain in the boat. This is what it's all a-boat. It's al-waves fun when we're out on the boat. It's always ferry fun with you around.

  10. 50+ Ferry Impressive Boat Puns That Are Knot Too Shabby

    Punny Boat Names. In need of a funny boat name pun? "Sea" if any of the clever boat pun names below will float your boat. Angelina Row-lie. Bait Blanchett. Bait Winslow. Den-sail Washington. Ferry Manilow.

  11. 22 Sailing Jokes That Will Send You Into Waves Of Laughter

    3. A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering wheel in his pants. The bartender says: "Hey, did you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants?". "Aye, sir that it be, "says the pirate, "it's driving me nuts!". 4. At the regatta, the blue sailboat hit the red one…. They were marooned! 5.

  12. Yacht Jokes Archives

    Yacht Jokes. A friend has cooking utensils on his exotic yacht. Pyrex of the Caribbean. This week's topic for one liners and puns is yacht jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of funniness or originality, but I do hope they float your boat…. Why are fast yachts like popular furniture stores?

  13. 38 Hilarious Boat Jokes To Make You Laugh

    This establishment has a necktie policy, and you are not wearing one.". "Of course I don't have a tie on," replied the sailor, "I'm on a boat!". "Well, go down below and put one on," said the dockhand. "I don't HAVE one!" shouted the sailor. The dockhand, not wanting to turn away a customer, said: "Well, why don't ...

  14. Yacht

    Quotes and One Liners humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more

  15. The World

    Talk to one of our Residential Advisors today to learn more about this unique lifestyle, details of upcoming Journeys and Expeditions, and ownership opportunities. CONTACT US. For Residential Sales inquiries, please call. +1 954 538 8449 // +44 20 75721231. For General inquiries, please call. +1 954 538 8400. THE WORLD. Our Story.

  16. 75+ Best Sailing Quotes for Your Inner Sailor

    10. "A bad day sailing is 100 times better than a good day at work.". — Unknown. 11. "Hark, now hear the sailors cry, smell the sea, and feel the sky let your soul and spirit fly, into the mystic.". — Van Morrison, Northern Irish Singer & Songwriter. 12. "It's out there at sea that you are really yourself.".

  17. 42+ Yacht Jokes And Funny Puns

    Short Yacht Jokes; Yacht One Liners; More Yacht Jokes; Funniest Yacht Short Jokes. Short yacht jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The yacht humour may include short boat jokes also. I like my women like I like my champagne 13 years old and smashed over the bow of my yacht ; I saw an advert in the ...

  18. Below Deck: 17 of the most memorable one-liners from Captain Lee

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  19. Yacht Rentals

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  20. World's first 'yacht liner' unveiled

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  21. Catalina Island Yacht Charter & Yacht Rentals

    Luxury Liners yachts are well maintained for the perfect yacht charter experience. While traveling to Catalina Island, Santa Barbara, or any one of the Channel Islands know that its an ideal destination. First of all, there's nothing quite like it and Catalina features great recreational activities for a vacation. Offering a wide range of fun ...

  22. Ocean liner

    An ocean liner is a type of passenger ship primarily used for transportation across seas or oceans. Ocean liners may also carry cargo or mail, and may sometimes be used for other purposes (such as for pleasure cruises or as hospital ships ). [1] Only one ocean liner remains in service today. The category does not include ferries or other ...

  23. 32 Absolutely Ridiculous Rodney Dangerfield One-Liners

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  24. Yacht Rentals & Yacht Charters

    Charters From $ 3,359.22. Luxury Liners offers yacht charter and yacht rentals for groups of all sizes. Our yachts are well maintained for the perfect yacht charter experience traveling to Catalina Island, Santa Barbara, or any one of the Channel Islands would be an ideal destination. Our yachts are perfect for birthdays parties, corporate ...

  25. Will Boeing Starliner finally launch? Crews prepare for June 1 liftoff

    0:02. 1:30. The Boeing Starliner is set to launch Saturday afternoon from Kennedy Space Center in Florida. The mission has been delayed nearly a month due to an oxygen leak on the rocket and then ...

  26. Cantieri di Pisa Just Unveiled the First Yacht in the New Polaris Line

    The Polaris 48 is the first in Cantieri di Pisa's new line of steel and aluminum superyachts. Published on May 31, 2024. By Rachel Cormack. Cantieri di Pisa. Cantieri di Pisa became famous during ...

  27. Full recap of Friday and Saturday at the Monaco Grand Prix

    The Monaco Yacht Club lists prices for boats up to about 230 feet — that would be $92,240, merci beaucoup. But hey, at least: there's a high correlation between yacht owners and people who can ...

  28. Silversea's 2027 World Cruise Includes Stops in 80 Destinations

    One of the smallest cruise ships in Silversea 's fleet will carry out the line's biggest global voyage. The 698-foot Silver Dawn will embark on an epic 149-day cruise in 2027, visiting 35 ...

  29. CEO Of Mercedes-AMG Petronas F1 Team Toto Wolff Talks Race Cars And Yachts

    While onboard during the Grand Prix, I met with Toto Wolff, CEO of the Mercedes-AMG Petronas F1 Team, to discuss details of the collaboration as well as the unique features of the much-loved ...